While the hubby's away, the wifey will play. What started out as a quiet, innocent dinner club meeting, ended as... a rowdy dessert at Shari's restaurant. WHAT WENT WRONG? The names below have been changed to protect the innocent.
It all started with the making of the mysterious manicotti - a ricotta cheese mixture squirted into manicotti tubes, covered with spaghetti sauce and baked. After taking it out of the oven, I met up with the beguiling Startling Beauty (who made breadsticks from scratch and prepared the "bagged" salad) and we headed for Molly Moe's. We enjoyed a lovely dinner together, ending with Molly's "Holy Canoli" cake. Our other club members, Agabrasta and Cleopatra, were unable to join us - Cleopatra, because we played phone tag all week, and Agabrasta, because her oldest son had pinkeye. We missed them but still had fun. After dinner, we prepared a plate for Agabrasta, and Startling and I traveled back to Agabrasta's apartment to surprise her with dinner.
And what did we find but a very harried Agabrasta, struggling with her two baby boys, who had smeared red pizza sauce on her light tan carpet, strewn her DVD collection across the living room, and scattered toys and chocolate chip cookie crumbs all over their bedroom. After Startling and I helped Agabrasta straighten up, we hung out for a while; and then, the evil idea was born... "Let's go out!" The night was still young and I had errands. Agabrasta was only too happy to accept our invitation.
At Millicent's home, the destination of one of the errands, the real debauchery began. "Let's go out for ice cream," we suggested to Millicent, who was just wicked enough to go along with our evil plan. As time passed, more plans were laid for this evening of fiendish delights. We first divulged to Millicent the secret combination of our monthly dinner club and invited her to take part. "Do I have to cook something?" she wailed. We told her to bring the bagged salad next time. Now caught up in the spirit of the evening, Millicent introduced the menacing idea of a girls' overnight stay at a local hotel to paint the town red. And THEN - this is where it got ugly - we decided to make our way around the village to certain homes, where unsuspecting women, cozy in their jammies, were about to be ousted by the Naughty Four. Soon we were on our way in my huge, somewhat-trusty car.
"Ding, Dong!" sang several doorbells... and before they knew it, Sing-Singa-Song and Klashanka were swept up in the revelry. Kasnostra begged to be spared, citing a migraine. Husbands reluctantly let their wives out into the dark night, not knowing what terrible fate lay before them...
One husband in particular, Millicent's Dackleback, was horribly afflicted by our sinister deeds. Not only did we prevail upon him to care for Agabrasta's two babies but - as we were about to be on our way with our ill-gotten booty, the somewhat-trusty car became somewhat-less-than-trusty. Almost as if it knew what was happening, the car tried to thwart us! It "pretended" to have a dead battery, right there in Millicent's driveway. Poor longsuffering Dackleback was subjected to the dreaded jumper cable torture, but knowing he had no choice, he manfully participated.
FINALLY the horrible festivities could begin. The radio blaring the Beach Boys' "Kokomo," the nonchalant bumping of the backseat passengers' heads as we went over speed bumps, and the discussion of Val Kilmer's teeth going full force (Millicent thinks they're too long and I think he's completely perfect), added to the depraved atmosphere. There was no stopping us - chaos was left in our wake.
As we made our way into the restaurant, a group of four young males almost lost their eyeballs and gave themselves whiplash checking out blond and beautiful Agabrasta. The waitress, who somehow knew we were up to no good, hesitantly seated us. Sensing the nervous tension of four manipulative females and their two helpless victims out for a night of ice cream, she brought us incredibly small glasses of ice water and continued to bother us until we ordered our desserts. Conversation flew; dark secrets were revealed; laughter rang throughout the restaurant. Klashanka and Sing-Singa-Song, resigned to their fate, shared a turtle sundae. Rejoicing that our dastardly plot had met with such sweet success, Startling Beauty, Agabrasta, Millicent and I indulged in Shari's Delights and strawberry cheesecake sundaes, and enjoyed this impromptu meeting of four wicked minds.