"As Useless as a Las Vegas Sunrise"

With bonus peeks of my Keizer dress!

Let's try this again

Sandals With Socks???

Oh heck yeah. I couldn't consider myself a true PNWer if I didn't walk through PDX this way. 

This ended up being the most frustrating day. 

kind of done with S0uthwest

I ended up having R and Hannah pick me up at the airport, then going home and napping most of the day. My two suitcases went on to Vegas without me. That felt extremely weird.

Charles Part Two

Work, the actual working part, was fun and rewarding as usual. But it was an icky morning.

The Illness: I've been less than great about taking care of it. So today when I checked my blood sugar, it was very high. Dammit. I started to slam water to hydrate, and walked a couple of laps around the building, and that knocked it down a bit. After work I called K@iser and spoke with an advice nurse. She sent me some information, and I learned that I should rest when it gets this high, not exercise. Live and learn (hopefully, on both counts). 

Charles: We had another conversation that started at B's desk, and since I was on my way out the door to walk one of my laps, I made the mistake of walking outside into the courtyard with him, and the touching happened again. It was twice this time - once again on my shoulder and another time when he squeezed my arm and then ran his hand down it - and it happened within the span of about one or two minutes. Apparently, since I didn't say anything about him touching me yesterday, he's feeling bolder and starting to escalate. DUDE. 

I told Hubby and B about it, and obviously they were concerned. Major major major boundaries are now in place. From now on, there will be no more conversations with Charles where we leave B's desk - I want B's presence in place as a deterrent, and as a witness to any bad behavior. I won't be alone with Charles again or walk anywhere with him. I'm going to tell Dan tomorrow that if Charles comes to the bookstore asking for me, I'm not there. If Charles sees me there, I'll ask Dan to stick around as backup/witness. 

And if he touches me again, I'm saying something.

The rest of the day: I rested and watched Naked Gun movies with the kids. They all spent some time playing outside in the sunshine and I watched them and felt so blessed to be their mom and grandma. 

A few hours later, my blood sugar had dropped by 80 points into a more acceptable level, and I felt emotionally better. Had a good dinner, popped all of my pills like a good girl, and went to bed early. 

It'll all be okay. 

Charles Part One

Today I met up with a coworker we'll call Charles. Charles and B are friends, and Charles and I are also friendly. We like to chat about Survivor, and we try to find time during the week to talk about the latest episode. Last Christmas, he was kind enough to give me an extra daily cat calendar he said he'd received from Amaz0n (we ended up giving it to Hubby's mom, because it's the exact calendar we always buy her for Christmas). 

Charles has an unfortunate backstory: last year, he was put on leave for a few months after committing some work-related infraction. For months we all wondered what happened and what he did to deserve this. When he came back, he told us that a coworker in his department accused him of looking at p0rn on the job (he says it was artwork on a social media site, and B and I believe him). From what B tells me about their conversations, Charles can be problematic with a hot temper and strong opinions, and a bit of a racist streak as well. He's intelligent and well spoken, and fun to talk to, but there are definitely issues. 

Back to today: We were finally able to talk Survivor. At first we were standing by B's desk, but I was originally heading to the cafe for my daily biscuit and it was about to close, so I suggested that he come with me so we could continue our conversation. 

Charles mentioned that one Survivor contestant is a member of a culture that according to him, continues to isolate themselves when they move to the States, and doesn't work hard enough to assimilate. He then stopped, looked around us, expressed the hope that "the fairies" weren't around to hear what he was about to say and get him into trouble. Then he leaned over and told me that he considered another race from an Asian country to be "from another planet".  

And then he kind of laughed, and then he put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed it. 

Not happy about this! The touching is one thing, but I'm pretty sure the racism thing is something that he could be fired for, if I reported it. I didn't react to him touching me - which wasn't good on my part, I should have said something right then - but I was just shocked by his comment and then by the unwanted touch.

I walked back to B's desk and shared what happened. He was unhappy too, but agreed with me that we would let this go, because didn't Charles just finish his punishment a few months ago? Did we really want to get him in trouble again? 

Civilized Life

This morning Hubby and I had fun choosing some croissants to take home for breakfast (thanks to Mom for the gift cards), then swinging by the waterfront to take a few pics for R. 

A cozy day spent at home, giant nap included, was enjoyed by me. Around 4 pm I decided to get serious about packing for the upcoming trip and planning for the week ahead. 

There's a lot of food planning for this trip - Vegas really doesn't like it when you bring or eat your own food, so there will be no microwave or fridge in our hotel room, nor are there any good grocery stores anywhere near the strip. With my being diabetic (and really cheap), I have to get creative. But it's kind of fun to see how many ways I can cheat their system. I'm not a huge Vegas fan, as must be obvious by now. But it's a mostly free trip, and even a trip to Vegas is better than not traveling at all.

The Fun I'm Currently Having

I am packing for a trip - one of my favorite things! That old saying about travel being a thing that can be enjoyed three times - in planning, in execution, and in memory - is certainly true. 

Also, for me, it's fun to go through my suitcase and unused purses, and see what surprises past me stashed away for present me to find. I made quite a haul in gift cards and garden seeds! The road to hell that I pave with my good intentions will at least be filled with flowers.

In other news: We had another one of those times when we had plans with M's ex to visit with the girls, but it fell through. Sad, but we're all used to it. 

"Embrace Your Weirdness"

Morning: Hubby and I took R to the train station - she's spending the weekend with Hannah - and then I took Hubby to the courthouse downtown. Came home, ate breakfast, played with the little girls...

her toes. so cute

...got myself and my backpack ready, and took off for the college. I walked to the bus stop and once there, had time to grab quite a bit of litter. 

Noon: Arrived at the campus. Hey look, it's one of my best friends.

At one of the cafes on campus, I had coffee with a coworker, J, who reached out to me clear back in November or December about meeting up sometime. We had a great, long, in-depth chat and made an appointment for lunch in two weeks! Fun! I'm glad we were finally able to make it work.

Afternoon: Walking back to the bus stop, I chatted with Hubby and was there just in time to watch the bus going home pull into the bus stop and take off without me. So, instead, I caught the bus going downtown and had lunch at Nom Nom. 

Then it was a stop at the library. I checked out some books and picked up two seed packets - look how cute these are:

...rode the bus home, turned around and drove down to Delta Park to pick up Hubby.

Evening: By then I was quite tired. We had planned on attending a play on campus, but instead decided on dinner, watching Wednesday night's episode of Survivor with Hubby, Sims, brownies, and bed.

A damn good day off, if you ask me.

Ready To Cry My Makeup Off, Mr. DeMille

But first: It's my day off, and while doing a deep clean of our bedroom, I'm spending some quality time with these ladies.

And now: I have a shrink appointment today. Let's see how well the makeup does.

Before

After

It was a good session, despite all the crying, or maybe because of it. My former church membership is still affecting my life in weird little tendril-y ways that I wish would just go away immediately, but Shrink says that I'm doing well and the rest will happen eventually. 

We addressed the marching band thing and I decided that anything that has regular meetings or any sense of obligation or responsibility is not what I need right now. The thing that struck me about seeing the little calendar on the bathroom stall door at work yesterday was that all the activities are voluntary, and no one is depending on me to do anything or be anywhere at a certain time or day. Attendance, or lack thereof, is up to me. There's nothing I'm obligated to provide or perform. It's just all fun, and none of it is being planned or executed by me.

It all stems back to the toxic sense of responsibility I've been carrying around since I was a little child, which the church perpetuated in a big way. I'm just done with it. Shrink says that after my years of motherhood and church membership, it's understandable that I would be burned out and need a break.

So it's just community events now. That's my "church". If I feel like taking something on later in life, those associations will be available for me, but for now, I just want to play.

And play we did:

"It's like being with my dad, but without the insults!"

We won't be going back to the church we once attended, but I find myself still needing to replace my old church activity - it was a huge part of my life. I've been considering joining a couple of bands, but I'm not sure if I want to right now (something to discuss with shrink tomorrow). 

Then today, as I was using the ladies' room at work, I checked out the little flier that Student Life posts every month in each bathroom stall (how cute is that), and realized, there's something to do almost every day. I could just do more of this stuff! 

So that's it, then - work is the new church! 

(This may also be something to address with the shrink)

In other news: B very sweetly brought me this delicious cookie and I loved it

LOOK AT SEASIDE.

Dan and the other higher-ups had a meeting this afternoon, so R had a spot to eat her lunch. I had a great time hanging out with her. 

Title: Dan and I were goofing off this morning, trying to think of words that rhyme with matcha and making stupid jokes, and this was the thought that popped into my head. So dark! So horrible! So funny. Sometimes the truth is that way.

Adventures in Keizer

Looks like fun so far

The adventurers. My hair is being helped by The Beard

I dropped off Hubby and headed to Waremart for essentials, then the dollar store for greeting cards (best place to get them):

 

Found a local thrift store and bought this darling cotton dress for our upcoming trip:

Heroically left behind the $15 tub of fabrics (some of it was a quilt top):

Drove around aimlessly for a while, found some snow:

Linner at Hops and Drops: A BIG yes. The server said there are locations near us in the Portland area and we'll definitely be back.

We drove home and enjoyed our evening.

Taking up drinking

Apple soda from WinCo's produce department 

We had a big, full day of laundry, cooking, grocery shopping, Sims, and unsewing.

Take that, old pep band polo shirt. Now you're just regular college gear.

Mental health moment: Coffee is Jesus. Lately Facebook makes me feel unsafe; I'm staying off for now. Blogging, Reddit and TikTok are it for social media. My chest doesn't hurt tonight! I actually feel happy and relaxed, and I credit all the productivity of the day and my mostly-clean kitchen.

See ya, February!

The calendar page turns

I attended an online work training today about neurodiversity and man, are there a lot of us "neurospicy" folks there at the college. As one of my bookstore coworkers said, it's a wonder the college runs as well as it does! It was nice to have an occasion to find each other. 

Our Anniversary

Out for breakfast. 

We spent the day together and did awesome stuff like watch the first episode of this season of Survivor. 

Later: dinner at WildFin - tasty and their chocolate cake is amazing. 

We still like each other after all this time! Life is so good.

Boo-boos, eh

Miss R's yucky bug is still with us, so we're seeing the doctor. Based on her symptoms and history, I'm guessing tonsillitis, but I'm not the one with the medical degree. 

Silver lining: we've discovered the magic of chicken broth from a bouillon cube. It's all she's eaten for the last 24 hours. But it tastes good and feels okay on her poor throat, and it's such a quick and easy thing to make.

In other crappy health news: my mom texted this morning that Brother B had a heart attack last night. He's going to be okay. He had an artery block that has already been treated, and he'll stay in the hospital for another day or two. Scary stuff, but we feel very fortunate that he was in Richland and not traveling somewhere when it happened. It's a good wake up call for all of us. 

This evening: Hubby had soccer practice and I watched Twilight with Diesel.

truth

Later: R is sick. She wanted company, so Hubby stayed home and worked, and he and I spent the afternoon in her room. I read the first few chapters of Midnight Sun aloud. She slept a bit.

And later still: I took care of the little girls and put them to bed while M and B enjoyed a movie out together. The girls are so funny, and they're so much easier now than they were when they were 16 and 28 months old (who knew??). It was a cozy evening.

Hey, Bud

I see you.

I also see blue sky! 

I see this, whatever this is

Later