Just. Ick.

My top three SNL alum films:

3. Wedding Singer
2. Tommy Boy
1. The Blues Brothers

After spending the morning becoming more intimately acquainted with the STUPID kitchen floor, I've come up with several solutions for keeping it clean. So far I have the "Adopt a Tile" program, rather like Adopt a Highway, in which each child would adopt a set of tiles to scrub. Or, I may number and name each tile and put them on a schedule. "It's Hilda's turn today."

I tried mopping. Mopping is also stupid.

The Most Interesting Woman in the World

I don't always watch mindless garbage on YouTube. But when I do...
Oh, who are we kidding.

And now, a recipe.

An Apple!!! No mixing needed!! Click SHARE to keep on your timeline!!!!!!
Recipe: One apple
Water for washing
A knife or maybe one of those cute apple cutter things if you're into those (optional)

Directions: Wash apple with water (add something else to the water to get the apple really clean if you're serious about it). Use knife or cute apple cutter thingie to cut into wedges, if desired.

Eat the thing.

Heather M: Where has this recipe been all my life? THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR POSTING THIS! This is going to change EVERYTHING for me!
Heather M: Only, I don't like apple peels. Do you think there is a recipe for an apple without the peel on it?
Me: That's an entirely different recipe. Let me check my box and see if I have it
Stacey S: What luck, I have happen to have an apple slicer! Now, is tap water okay? Or should I use bottled? Maybe perrier or peru if I'm feeling fancy.
Jean Knee: can you make one on how to make toast? mine never turns out
Suzanne S: BWHAHAHAHA!
Suzanne S: I love you guys!!!
Angela B: Heather, Dr Oz suggests eating the peels to promote regularity. Also, I know someone who didn't eat peels and almost died from a rare but deadly peel-deficiency disease.
Heather M: NOOOooooooooo! Peel deficiency disease runs in my family!
Me: Sounds pretty serious. I couldn't find the recipe but it's just as well.
Lisa S: Glad I saw this! I needed an after school snack idea!
Mary Jean J: Pick it off my own tree, and washing isn't necessary...and I did today and even my bird would eat this one, but not the ones from the store. Figure????
Me: You have a smart bird
 Mary Jean J: Tells me he is smarter than I am.

(My friends and I got sick of everyone else posting recipes on Facebook so we decided to post ridiculous "recipes" to be silly. Heather posted a recipe for cold cereal.)

Whistlers' Mother

"NO PARKOUR ON SUNDAY!!!"
My boys are fans of American Ninja Warrior. I had to yell at Carter on the way out to the car from church today....little dinguses. He was doing it through the church shrubs. It felt a tad disrespectful. More than anything it was a fun thing to shout. It wasn't a really loud screamy shouty yell, more of a slightly higher-pitched admonition. But yes, I did have to consider which one of us was being more irreverent, the parkour-er or the shouter.

Two of my children have picked up Mom's whistling habit. It's as if they're wearing collars with little bells - we can tell right where they are at all times. I was asked to fill in for the Primary piano player today...was playing a song and soon heard someone whistling along with it. I looked over and sure enough, it was my Rosalind. Awwww.

Later: Eatin' lasagna. DON'T JUDGE ME.

George G: I would only judge you favorably for lasagna...
Me: ONLY JUDGE ME FAVORABLY
Erin G: Ha! That's actually what everyone MEANS when they say "Don't judge me".
Me: You are correct madam.
Ernie: How dare you eat lasagna...are ya too good for spaghetti or something ?
Me: Yes. I am. I look down my nose at spaghetti.
Ernie: Me too.. Only stuffed ravioli and manicotti for me please.
Me: Exactly. No ricotta = not happening
Ernie: Do you remember when Gran used to substitute cottage cheese... I felt like haha Gran, stupid great depression.....lol
Me: Yeah but I liked it.
Ernie: Me too
Melissa C: Next FB screen name....Garfield.
Me: I was tossing around Taft actually
Melissa C: Literally? Gross. Mans been dead a century or so.
Me: Which made him easier to toss...he lost quite a bit of weight
Mel: Now I AM judging you. So there.
Me: You CHUBBUCKS
Jami L: Makes a fine breakfast.
Me: It does.
Jason K: There are no judgments, only if that is not vegan style Lasagna.
Me: Five cheeses. All from a COW (unless they slipped something else in there)
Mel: Pot
Me: Pot. Pot?
Jason K: I am sure that Natalie would never let that slip through her keen sense of smell. Besides, I think Brian might have caught it as well. It is legal in that neck of the woods...
Mel: Caught it, but snickered as she ate it...
Me: This being WA, you never know. But I meant sheep cheese or goat cheese or yak cheese
Mel: It is Vegan too, so no worries.
Jason K: horse cheese
Me: Cat cheese
Mel: Horse cheese is better than horse buns. (horse buns horse buns)
Me: I one the horse buns
Jason K: but not as good as hot crossed buns
Mel: I two the horse buns... *snicker*
Me: Maybe there was pot in it.
Mel: At your house? I don't think we need to ask. It's always assumed.
Me: Is it?
Mel: Hee... No.

Later still: I had to shout, NO TWERKING BEFORE FAMILY PRAYER

Naughty

Being VERY disobedient to my timer today. Flylady would be so disappointed. "Flylady dropout...no purple puddles day for you...." The timer is the only piece of Flylady advice I've used more than once. 

Mel: Rebel! Rebel!
Me: Rebels against Flylady Frank
Mel: Won't do what she suggests Sigmond
Me: Tells off Flylady Fiona
Mel: Figures she's a dip Dan

While avoiding my timer's prompting like the plague, I've been genealogy-ing and listening to Oingo Boingo: "There's a place in the stars for when you get old."

And while genealogy-ing, I found my grandma's college yearbook picture online. Sweet find.

1938 Walla Walla College Yearbook

Karen R: I still see Candace in her, I also see Becky's smile
Mel: They all look like adults, even in high school!
Me: This is college.
 Mel: Oh. Well still, that generation mastered looking older than they were.
Me: You know, for these Keen girls to be in college during the 30s... Grandma and Grandpa Keen must have worked really hard. I'm looking at their 1940 census record and neither one of them made it past the 8th grade.
Mel: Wow! That's a pretty crazy step up.
Me: Inspiring, isn't it. Kind of feminist of them, too.
Mel: Absolutely! Equality is where it's at!
Me: But for this to be happening during the Depression... pretty amazing. I want to hug them.
Mel: Great drive and hope.
Me: Yep. I feel like I have no excuses for anything now.
Mel: Except your bad smell.
Me: Bad Smell Frank
Me: I smell awesome right now, I'll have you know
Mel: Me too, just did a run by showering on myself.
Me: With the hose?
Brian D: What does the quote say?
Me: "Heart on her lips, and soul within her eyes, Soft as her clime, and sunny as her eyes." I think. Mel: When isn't it with a hose?
Me: When it's with your tongue
Nancy L: I never knew about her college days!!!
Gary D: Dot's secret life....lol
Nancy L: I guess so!!!!
Mom: Oh yes...remember she went to Seattle for a singing competition with a group from the college and got sent home for being caught drunk? She was supposed to write the college and apology but wouldn't so they kicked her out....??
Mom: Uncle Mel told me all about it.
Mom: She was engaged and he broke it off because of it.
Mom: Three weeks later she met and married Dad [Carl Dysart Jr.]
Mel: Sounds like crazy youth runs in the family. Now I know who to blame for my bad behavior! *wink wink*
Me: She was a sassy gal.
Me: I wonder who her fiance was.
Mel: Someone who didn't appreciate a rebel, apparently. Thank goodness! We wouldn't be here without Grandpa.

Can't. Wait.

October 1st, baby!!

Inferno

This heat is killing my give-a-crap. Just sitting here sweating and wondering what the point of showering today was.

First Day of School 2013

This was a tough one: Bella's senior year, Harrison starting high school and 

Carter starting middle school. My poor mama heart.

Poor little H looks so nervous

"Gimme money"

Love, love, love this outfit

His first year at D school, where he
"won't know anyone." We found out in June that
due to our living here, he wasn't registered at the school
we thought he'd be going to.
We told him he could try this school for a while. 

Fun :)

Rosalind the fourth grader has a double class and two teachers (Mr. W and Mrs. A-B) this year. It brings back fun memories of my fourth grade double class. 

The House at Twilight

Two great tastes that taste great togetherrrrr

Found this little beauty at Fwee Fwee in Seaside, Oregon.

Be jealous.

Busy Day

It's a tough life

So here we are on our busy Friday. The whole week has been horrifically busy and not a little stressful. Along with this stuff we worked in soccer practices, Mutual (the young women had a hike around a nearby lake for certification), Roz's Mother and Daughter picnic for Activity Days, Carter's crossing guard field trip to Oaks Park, and a planned weekend trip that I stressed out about until it was cancelled Thursday morning.

Here we are at Culture Fair, with our last third grader parade float. 

Roz's table had Germany, Germany and Switzerland.  And Keller ;)

Eating German pretzels from the kid next door

Then soccer practice was fun, as you can see from Harrison's bloody shirt. A teammate accidentally kicked a ball into Harrison's face and his nose started bleeding. "Tell your mom that someone made you mad and you went all Mike Tyson on him and bit off his ear," one of his teammates said. Yummy.



Soccer kills

Neenaw sez: Really a nice picture.How did you get so hansome in such a short time.Stay happy and healthy, I will pray for wealthy!!

And what was I doing while my child was bleeding all over the soccer field (and his shirt)? I was sitting blissfully in the car, listening to Dennis Miller on the radio and cross stitching.  It's weird to have my kid be that old and autonomous - he gets hurt and bleeds everywhere and I'm completely oblivious until he comes back to the car and shows me his shirt.  He told me that immediately after his nosebleed, he scored a goal with his head.  Way to bounce back, my boy.

Driving home, we noticed quite a plethora of cop car lights down at the bottom of our hill, close to our house - never a happy sight.  It turned out to be someone else's car accident.  Hubby and I arrived home about the same time and immediately took off down the block to inspect the damage.  The road was completely taped off with caution tape, which Hubby says usually means that someone died in the accident.  They knocked out a couple of power poles driving eastbound.  Hope they're OK. 

"Don't Kick Each Other's Bruises"

Loved this: 134 Ideas for Random Acts of Kindness

So today I woke up, looked at the calendar, and realized that my beloved Wall had failed me.  WALL!!  How could you do this?

Rosalind's Culture Faire parade float was due today.  Culture Faire is fun - the kids each choose a country and make a cute little portable display about that country on a cardboard box.  Carter's float two years ago (Scotland) was completely sad, as we had just moved and had no idea what this Culture Faire parade float thing was, and did not yet have the Wall in place.  I was planning on helping Roz with her float (Australia) this weekend.  Oops!

"Educational" Barbie play

Fortunately, because of the Wall, we already had a paper model of the Sydney Opera House to put together.  I spent my morning doing that, and scoring Bella's English paper (she had to get someone outside the school to edit it, which I did last week, but then she threw this stupid rubric at me this morning and I had to make up dumb score numbers out of thin air and leave comments about her paper, and I'm like, "SHE'S MY KID, she's a genius!  Of course the paper is marvelous, you TWIT!" but I couldn't, I had to act like a real editor.  Whatever). 

Almost done...

Finished product and smiling child

Daddy came home with more awesome Australia stuff.  The finished parade float:

She looks so *old* in this pic!  But happy :)

Sorry it's so blurry.

Completely off topic but worth mentioning:
"If I ever get executed, I hope it's in Texas."
- Bella

Sunday Afternoon

Time for some Monopoly

There would I find a settled rest, while others go and come,

No more a stranger, nor a guest, but like a child at home...

 



Oorah

First: A confession.

Today I made my kids have hot lunch even though they told me they hated today's menu. Roz ate two bites of it and Carter had two Jolly Ranchers (??). After school they were hungry, so I took them out for donuts. YES. I am that mom.

Next: Some cozy lounge time.

It's a tough life

And now, a nice story.

Charlotte the minivan had been sitting in our driveway since she FAILED her emissions test at the end of February, and of course at that point our tabs were expired, so driving her anywhere was risky business.
 
Yesterday, finally, she was fixed and ready to go. We were hoping to just pay the mechanic today and then show the emissions guys the mechanic's receipt, to show we had spent the required amount fixing her, so we wouldn't have to drive her illegally again.  But no.  "You know you have to go through emissions testing again," the woman at the shop said.  I made Hubby do it.

Charlotte passed the test and Hubby, on his way to soccer, handed me the paperwork so I could go renew the tabs. Drove through the DOL drive-through. "Our debit card system isn't working."

Went inside, with ten minutes to close. Their STUPID ATM didn't work, even after I rubbed it on my jeans, and the DOL woman put a strip of Scotch tape over the magnetic strip (! - or you could just buy a new, not stupid ATM, you silly DOL people). 

I was getting a little bugged and was seriously ready to bawl and I think everyone could tell.  The thought of Charlotte being *thisclose* to being driveable again after three months (I'd be such a terrible pioneer), and then to have to leave her overnight at the stupid DOL parking lot because the stupid DOL's stupid debit card thingie and stupid ATM weren't working, no way to call Hubby, and nothing but C-Tran to get me home... not that I hate C-Tran but I would have had to walk a couple miles to get to my route...

(seriously, a terrible pioneer)

Ahead of me in line was a young man and his 50s-ish mom, I think they were doing a title transfer or something.  His card worked in the ATM (of course).  He noticed my distress.  Then he did the most amazing, tenderest, mercifulest thing.

"Can I get the money out of my account for you, and then you can pay me back?"

And desperate me, I said YES!!!  Please!!  Thank you!!! 

The DOL people were cute.  "You raised that boy right, Mom!" Indeed she did.

So he withdrew the cash, I paid my fee, and we agreed to meet at the WinCo next door to withdraw my cash there.

WinCo's ATM was also out of order.

"We'll just buy something and I'll pay with my card and ask for cash back," I said.

Not enough money in my checking account to cover it.  Savings, yes, but there's no way to transfer funds right there at the checkout counter.  It was really getting ridiculous.

This kid, who by now I had chatted up pretty well and found out he was a Marine on leave from Japan, looked at me and said, "Well, that's OK." 

He was seriously going to let me off the hook for $50.  Like that's gonna happen.

Off we went to a nearby bank, the ATM worked (the one working ATM in our county, pretty sure), I paid him back and we went on our way.

I noticed that his rear license plate holder bore the tagline of a local car dealership - "Believe in Nice." He couldn't have personified it better.

His name is Nate.  He was my angel today. 

He's a Marine.  If you're prone to praying, please pray that he'll be safe during his time in the military and come home and have an awesome happy life. 

Oorah.

Talk About... Moving.

I don't know exactly how or why today became the day, but finally the Big TV Move was accomplished. Whew!

Lounge, before - so very sad.

Lounge, after!!

Living room, AKA Parlor, after!!

While moving stuff around, I banged my left knee on the wall. I have no idea how or what I was doing, but it scraped up and swelled up and got hot and weird and everything, and hurt for the rest of the day. Poop!!

Also, while we're speaking of mishaps, I had a phone call from the school precisely two seconds after standing up from my knee incident. Miss Roz was on the other end with her sweet tiny sad voice.  She fell into a puddle at school, trying to jump over it and wildly underestimating its width, and she needed some clean dry clothes.  Poor baby.

So, a good day with a few bumps.  But still good.

Young American, Young American, I was a Young American

....once.

Happy Memorial Day to y'all.  Hope it's a happy one.

Normally we'd be out doing graves on this day - but yeah, the one car thing, the weather thing, and you haven't lived until you've tried to negotiate the Memorial Day traffic at a national cemetery.  Oh it's fuuuuunnn.

CAN THIS MEMORIAL DAY BE SAVED?  Let's hope the heck so.  Hubby and Bella are already at the store, buying food for our indoor picnic and (probably) Arrested Development-fest. 

LATER: The day was swell and filled with food and TV.  Does it get any better than that?

On that note:

Some good Halloween costume inspiration, right there.

The Great Saturday

Morning: Wondering if the local miscreants polished off all the "good" cereal. Feeling torn between a warm snuggly bed and a growling stomach. Off to walk the property later. It's a rough life

Forget all that, we're going to Farmers Market!!

The lovely face painting lady works her magic

Road trip!!

Afternoon: Awesome day to be outside. On the tree next door that overhangs our backyard, we discovered baby cherries. SWEET. I see covert harvesting in my future.

Amazing Discovery

"Dying to research a new family tree. Can I research yours? Seriously."

Fifteen genealogy requests later, I found myself creating a new notebook, in which I...

"Just found the Rejected Elmo Dolls list!! Whoop whoop!!" 
The kids and I were goofing around a few years ago and made a list of rejected Elmo dolls - Beat Me Up Elmo, Chainsaw Massacre Elmo, You Ain't Got No Legs Lt. Elmo... good stuff.  This is what happens when we declutter, people.  Pure magic.

Karmee C posted this on my wall today:
 

On With Your Clothes!!

Baby it's cooooold outside.

Church calling frustration:
"Oh what a tangled web we weave, when we leave everything to the freaking last minute." 

At this point I was reaching angst of Phil Connors-driving-off-the-quarry-cliff-with-the-groundhog proportions.  Really???

Awesome News!!

THIS!!! Thanks dear friend Acacia ;)

In other less awesome news: The mister is home with a cold. Sounds like he's trying to snorkle through pudding, poor man