Michelle Duggar Monday

Hope everyone had a great Easter! It tends to be an emotional day for me - suffice it to say that I am grateful for the Savior and His sacrifice. We had ham and funeral potatoes for dinner, Easter baskets (straw hats this year) with lots of chocolate and small toys, and enjoyed church (most of it, but I'm trying to decide how much of that negative experience I want to share - tease, tease).

Since I conked out immediately after dinner and slept till almost 9 PM, I was, of course, wide awake in the early morning hours. Watching TV while trying to fall asleep, I happened to catch The Learning Channel's series about the Duggar Family of Arkansas. Michelle and Jim-Bob are the parents of 16 children, including two sets of twins, and they are AMAZING. Watching them was a humbling experience. What kind of slacker am I with my paltry five children?

The first of the two hour-long programs focused on the birth of their 16th child, a little girl named Johanna Faith. Every member of that family looked forward to her birth. Living in the ultra-liberal Pacific Northwest, I've had my share of comments from zero-populationers who can't imagine why I would want more than one or two offspring, so Michelle's attitude was so refreshing: "Saying you have too many children is like saying you have too many flowers."

Yeah. Take that.

No Husbands Were Harmed in the Making of This Evening

Oh, the fun that ensued during our second monthly Kidnap Club meeting last night. Started in March when an innocent Italian dinner snowballed into an unprecedented evening of mayhem, the tradition continued with a Hawaiian-themed dinner, followed by – the horror! – more kidnappings of local women.

Tuesday's Top Five

Top 5 things I like putting on Kraft Macaroni & Cheese

"DIJON Ketchups! Mmmmm!”

5. Extra cheese
4. Salsa
3. Mustard and ketchup (sadly, not Dijon yet)
2. Salt and pepper
1. BARBECUE SAUCE

Sports Stats & Movie News

Harrison’s new soccer team, the Green Dragons, won their game, and he scored one of the three goals. He almost had more but the shots, although good, didn’t quite make it. The final score was 3-1. The game started late because the padlock on the goals was rusted shut and required bolt-cutters - it was the first time the goals had been used since last fall and they’re locked to each other so they can’t be stolen. Hubby remarked that winning the game was a good thing because the parents seemed to like him better afterward (he had doubts as to their confidence in him).

Carter’s game also started a touch late: after figuring out what field they were playing on, they finally commenced. The ref blew the whistle and both teams took off, trying to kick the ball in the same direction. Carter ultimately made a goal for the other team, the only goal that team scored in the game. Carter was so happy with himself that all Hubby said was, “OK, next time you need to kick the ball the OTHER way!”

So next time, Carter got in there, took the ball away from both teams – shoving best friend and teammate Nathan to the ground in the process – and scored ANOTHER goal, this time for his own team. Hubby, guest-coaching with Nathan’s mom Dawn, tried a series of combinations of players to try to slow down the scoring, but nothing worked… the final score was too many-1. Our team annihilated the completely-inexperienced-four-year-olds opposing team, which was unfortunate because many of the other team’s kids were crying at the end of the game. Awwww!

The new movie coming out in August, Snakes on a Plane, in the vein of so-bad-they’re-good movies (like UHF or Grease 2 and more recently, “The Grudge”), promises laughter, but not on purpose. The premise of the movie is pretty easy to guess... Suffice it to say that Hubby would not be getting on this plane for a million dang dollars.

In other movie news, the HubbyWifey family eagerly awaits seeing Nacho Libre, a Jared Hess-written-and-directed story about a Mexican wrestler (Jack Black, whom we loved in Orange County and School of Rock). Jared Hess co-wrote and directed the new Princess Bride of quotable movies, Napoleon Dynamite. We have no idea what the movie is about and really don’t care – it had us at “Jared Hess and Jack Black.”

Speaking of Napoleon – call us lowbrow, but we’re also dying to see The Benchwarmers, starring David Spade, Rob Schneider and Napoleon himself, Jon Heder, who is NOT dead. I watched part of a Comedy Central special about this movie and had to turn it off, I was laughing so hard – I didn’t want to ruin my future movie-going experience. See you at the movies! And if after reading this, you have a hankering to experience the glories that are UHF and Grease 2, you can read all about them at Fast-Rewind.com, an awesome 80s movie site.

Finishing off strong with this:

You Are Jan Brady

Brainy and a little introverted, you tend to think life is a lot worse than it actually is. And while you may think you're a little goofy looking, most people consider you to be a major babe.

What Brady Are You?

The Happy Day

We have really great days every so often, but today was a real keeper. First we had the boys’ soccer games, which were fun for the participants; then, having promised the kids we’d go swimming if their pigsty-resembling bedrooms were cleaned, we went to the new Firstenberg Center swimming pool. Let me tell you, if you live in this area and haven’t gone swimming there yet, you are MISSING OUT. That place is fun! It’s become my new favorite indoor swimming pool (Brigham City, Utah’s city pool being my outdoor favorite – this doesn’t take into account water parks like Lagoon’s).

This pool features a huge waterslide, guaranteed to make grown men squeal like little girls; an oval-shaped current area, which you can float along in one of their provided inner-tubes; a kids’ area, shallow, with toys; lots of underwater benches; and a regular lap swimming area. We all LOVED it. Rosalind, this being her first time, did the typical "our kid" thing: clutch Mommy and cry at first; stop crying; start smiling; start kicking and splashing; thoroughly enjoy herself; cry when it’s time to leave. Her favorite spot was in the corner of one of these underwater benches – she sat there and grinned and kicked her little feet under the water and had the most awesome time. We recommend it.

After wearing ourselves out at the pool, we dinnered and jammied the kids, and took off on a date. There were no complaints from the kids because they’d had such a great time at the pool – and were practically comatose as well. We went and stuffed ourselves at Hometown Buffet. Hubby’s desire to eat there surprised me, since he’s never been much of a buffet guy, but he was willing (as I always am). The food was, you know, buffet food.

Afterward, we spent a few minutes at Target, looking at DVDs and talking to our ward friend Brittany Thu..., who will be off to BYU-Idaho next month. Alas, the first season of Arrested Development isn’t on sale yet.

Then Winco, for some necessary groceries; and then Barnes & Noble. By this time it was 9:45 and it was only open for 15 more minutes, but that didn’t matter. I found the book I want to get, Body For Life. Of course, this being Barnes & Noble, the book cost $50,000, so I’ll wait until I can check it out at the library or get it in paperback. Hubby, stuffed, followed me around, always a good sport.

We came home to only two awake children, and the house was still picked up because they hadn’t been able to move. Friends, I believe we’ve stumbled across something here… on Saturdays, you take the kids swimming before dinner, you feed them, you throw them in front of a DVD, you leave, you come home, everything’s happy and everyone’s clean. Ahhhh.

Mood Ring Trauma: Do we need a ring for this?

6-year-old Harrison has a cute little mood ring he wears on his right pointer finger. He got it from the gift shop at Multnomah Falls last year. It's a cool ring - a silver band with the "mood liquid" set in the band, going all the way around. I wouldn't mind having one!

Sunday we had a scary moment when he couldn't find it. We had been on a nice, long post-General Conference feast walk, when suddenly, it was missing! For a moment we panicked, knowing there was NO WAY we were going to find it - until it was discovered safe on his left hand.

Last night he came into my room, completely alarmed, and said, “Mommy, my mood ring is broken!”

“Uh oh, what happened to it?”

“I don’t know, but [voice is now an octave higher] now it’s broken and I DON'T KNOW WHAT MOOD I'M IN! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!”

Nephi: Not a Whiny Girly-Man

Funny little moment as we were watching General Conference this morning: Sister Anne C. Pingree, second counselor in the Relief Society general presidency, recounted the story of Nephi’s obedience when called upon to build a ship: “Whither shall I go that I may find ore to molten, that I may make tools…?”

I said to my family, “I’m glad the Lord asked Nephi and not me to build a ship. I probably would have said [in a high-pitched whiny girly voice]: ‘A SHIP? I DON’T KNOW HOW TO BUILD A SHIIIIP!’”

Bella: “Well, Mommy, Nephi was a man, so he probably wouldn’t whine like that.”

Me: “Oh, I don’t know. I’ve known some pretty whiny men.”

Hubby, in a high-pitched whiny girly voice: “WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?”

Friday is my day

After a series of incredibly hectic weeks, I've decided to take a stand:
NOTHING ON FRIDAYS (at least during the day).

No visiting teaching, no friends, no appointments, no errands, no activities, nothing - just me, the vacuum and the washing machine.
How did it come to this? I've read about other busy moms having to set aside a day to themselves, just to stay home and "be a mom," but silly me - I thought I was better than that. I thought I could handle more than I actually can.

In the last four days, I took a dear friend (whom I also visit teach) to the dentist twice; attended our monthly FHE group at the church; served a shift at the family history center; spent a morning at the temple with my uncle and cousins; spent an evening helping my friend Marcie at a community meeting; and went visiting teaching. This along with Brennan's homeschool, taking Bella and Harrison to school and picking them up, caring for Carter and Rosalind and our home, dishes, laundry, picking up, vacuuming, the usual, and... shocking... I rearranged the living room last night.

This doesn't even touch time spent on the phone for callings, school, etc.; Hubby's work, calling, or soccer schedules; Brennan going to Mutual on Wednesday night; and the three soccer kids' weekly practices and games. I find a little time to blog, but haven't written anything substantial since Sunday. I should add that I did take some time yesterday (having a headache and not having anything pressing at the time) to rest and get hip-deep into Jane Eyre. My activities are all worthwhile, but I'm going to blow my own mind if I don't calm things down. It's been chaos and I'm finally doing something about it.

Along with continuing my love affair with the computer - I've had it going since age 11 when my uncle JR brought home his first Apple and I played "Apple Panic" - I'd like to branch out into such unheard-of activities as sewing, i.e. diving into the incredible growing mending pile; walking with my friends; quilting; baking with exciting and new substances like WHOLE WHEAT. There are these six people I live with, called "my husband and kids," that I'd like to get to know better, if I ever have time to put down the laundry basket. I'd like to have time to pop in on my friends sometimes and have them pop in on me. But I find I can't do those things unless I designate a day just for the care of the family and its physical needs - the house, the clothes, the food, the organization. Just ME BEING HOME, doing those little essential things so I can play without guilt.

Ahhh... feels better already.

At the Temple with Candace & Russell

On March 29, Candace and Russell and I met at the Portland Temple to do some temple work together. It was fun. We hadn't seen each other for a long time. I can't remember what Dad was doing that day - probably soccer.

Candace and Russell were so sweet - they bought me lunch afterward. We'll have to get together again soon - this time I'll make sure Dad comes with us!

Tuesday Top Five

We were going down the freeway the other day and I mentioned that I needed to start gathering material for my Tuesday Top 5. My ever-so-darling husband was happy to help by providing the items - I added the reasons.

Saturday in the Park

We had a meeting with Cedar’s new soccer coaches at a local park (with a playground so the kids could play while we talked – smart). So here we go with another kid in soccer. I’m excited for him, particularly with the memory of his experiences with soccer from last fall. What a cute little guy, running around and getting muddy on the field.

It was kind of funny – I, the non-sporty parent, am starting to become an expert at this. The other parents had quite a few questions about uniforms, etc. and all I needed to know was where and what time. It hit me that this is our fourth child to play soccer, which makes me feel comfortably worn-in, and freaks me out at the same time. I can’t figure out why. Oh, well. It’ll probably hit me someday when I spill another Wendy’s salad all over myself in the car and start bawling hysterically (another story for another day).

Somewhere that's not so green

There are two kinds of people in this world: “changers” and “stayers.” Bunny is a stayer – he likes things to stay the same. Whenever we go to Olive Garden, he orders the same thing he’s been getting for at least the last 5 years – ravioli portobello – which he fell in love with when I ordered it and gave him a bite. I like to try something new every time and sometimes, yes, I am disappointed by my choice, but other times I am excited to have found a new favorite. I’m also the girl that friends laugh at for changing her furniture around so often, sometimes monthly. With our current limited space, I don’t quite have that same opportunity but the desire is certainly there.

Which brings me to my topic… changing not the furniture, but the entire location. Changing CLIMATES. The weather is not my favorite right now – it’s not sunny, it’s not rainy, at least for more than five minutes. But the air is moist, the ground is sloppy and it’s dang cold outside. Worst of all, the playground structures are always WET.

Fortunately the world is in bloom, so we have lots of color, but driving around today, clutching the steering wheel with my chilled-to-the-bone fingers, I remembered the March trip I once took with my friend Coz to Arizona. Her sister was getting married and she was taking her two kids and needed someone to help drive from Logan, Utah to Phoenix. I absolutely loved the trip, even though Phoenix was already scorching hot (for me) in March. I finally understood the “snowbird” mentality – leave your cold, miserable hometown in winter for the southern states, camp in your RV until it becomes hot and yucky, then go home to finally-nice weather.

Driving around today, I thought, I could do Arizona. Particularly northern Arizona and southern Utah, close by the canyon parks. Sure, we’d be hot, but what a lovely change it would be from the gloppy Pacific Northwest. I still really love it here – there’s something magical about the deep, dark, misty woods, even if you’re just driving by them on the freeway. I guess I’m just ready for a change. For about 7 or 8 months of the year, we can count on continual cold, rain, dampness and darkness, and right now, I could deal with some cactus and juniper and red dust and blue sky and that yummy baked smell the Brookings woods would take on in summer. I think it was the myrtlewood trees.

The grass is always greener, right? Or in this case, deader.

Does Autumn Really Like Back Hair?

Carter takes after my side of the family and consequently is a hairy little guy. Ever since he was born he’s had a mustache and back hair, very light, but they’re there. We kid him about it sometimes and tell him what a cute little hairy guy he is, meanwhile thinking, this kid is going to be a beast when he’s grown up. He just grins and takes it in stride.

Carter apparently has a crush on our friend Autumn N. Today I called her after she’d just come home from getting a new haircut. Carter overheard us and wanted to talk to her, so I put him on the phone and he told her HE’D just had a haircut. She was politely impressed. I took the phone from him and continued my conversation with her, and told her to come over so I could check out her new ‘do.

After I hung up, Carter asked if Autumn was coming over and I said “Yes.”

He said, “I want Autumn to see my back hair.”

New Homeschool Schedule

I am totally wigged out (happily) right now because of Brennan's new schedule.We first signed him up February 1 with this home school program, and the director suggested we take the first month and get into a routine before adding any classes. Brennan started some P.E. classes - rock wall and swimming - a few weeks ago. It's been almost two months and we've discovered that more structure would be a good thing.
So today, I signed him up for more. Here it is:
Mondays and Wednesdays:
8:00 Rock wall Monday, Swimming Wednesday
9:00 Writing
11:00 Lunch (he can take a cold lunch or they have hot lunch there)
11:30 Science
1:30 Social Studies
2:30 Drama
Tuesday - 5 hours at home, plus a 1-hour art class at 3:30
Thursday - 5 hours at home
Friday - 5 hours at home, plus a 90-minute newspaper/yearbook class at 9:30

I'm especially excited about art, drama, and yearbook, which will be a lot of computer lab - he loves that. I had to really work on him about drama. This kid is so funny and entertaining, but has an enormous shy streak that I'd like to him work on(having had one myself), so I've been dying to get him into a drama class - once he comes out of his shell, he'll have a blast. I kept suggesting it and he kept saying "no." Last night at Mutual, they had roadshow practice, and he must have had a good time because today he said, "I guess I can take a drama class." Yay!!

Brennan has to get a minimum of 25 hours a week, and only half of that can include classes at the home school center, so we'll go over our allotted amount, but the home school people don't care as long as we have enough hours at home. I'm thrilled that all this is FREE. He has the opportunity to take a weekly basic guitar class on Wednesdays at 3:30, which we'll sign up for as soon as we can get a good inexpensive guitar.

We're thinking of home school for all three kids next year. I wouldn't even think of it, except they offer foreign languages, American Sign Language, dance, art, and rock wall/swimming classes for elementary school kids. But YIKES! That would be a lot for me to handle. I think I'll try it out on Brennan first. The poor "oldest" kids - they have to make it through their parents' inept first tries at everything (and I say that as a parent, not an oldest child). Plus, Bella and Harrison are doing really well in school right now, but they'll be leaving the excellent teachers they've had for two years for new ones next year, and in their school, it's a totally mixed bag. It has me a little worried. But, at least we know we have this wonderful option of home school.

The End

… of the kids’ basketball season. Bella and Harrison had their last games and team parties on Saturday, March 18. What a nutty day.

Basketball Game with the Deaf Girls

The girls on Bella's basketball team, the Blackjacks, played Tuesday night against the girls at the Washington School for the Deaf.

Binky-eating Jammies

Every so often, the pacifier supply comes up a little short around our house. It's either feast or famine - having a whole group of binkies lined up on Rosalind's dresser, or doing the frantic naptime search. Lately we've been finding the binkies in a very strange place.

We don't know exactly what she's doing or why or how, but apparently, when Rozzie has decided she's bored in her bed but not bored enough to get out of bed, she stows her binkies in the toes of her pajamas. These are the zippered, footed jammies for cold weather. She must be sticking them in the neck hole, and eventually they find their way down to her toes. When she woke up this morning, she was crying (probably because she couldn't get to a pacifier), and later, when I happened to catch sight of her feet, one looked oddly lumpy and misshapen. When I looked closer, there they were - two binkies.

This behavior has us baffled (as does some behavior of all our children), but all we can do is laugh and say: WHAT A WEIRD KID!

Hubby's Study in Name Dropping

Hubby enjoyed himself very much in Mexico City. He and his security group provided security for the top 10 LPGA golfers at the tournament. He spent most of his time with golfer Natalie Gulbis, even accompanying her to the grocery store one night. He also helped occasionally with Paula Creamer (ranked #2 in the world) and Annika Sorenstrum (ranked #1, and won the $2 million purse). In his words:

"It was fun, and everyone treated us great, and since we were considered LPGA security, we were given as much of the 'royal treatment' as the players. I got to use a lot of my Spanish, which garnered quite a few compliments from the locals. Natalie Gulbis was really nice, and while we were at the store, she offered to buy food items for several of the volunteers and other persons helping. She bought us security guys a cake. She asked why I lived in Chile for two years (my standard answer for the question 'Where did you learn Spanish?') and I told her I'd served a mission for my church, and what church I belonged to."

The flights were uneventful - by some fluke, on every plane, Hubby had the row all to himself! That was the best! He was really glad to not have some fat person squeezing him out. Ha... he says, "Thanks for adding that, you nerd!"

To celebrate his homecoming tonight, we're having homemade burritos.

Girls Night Out Gone Awry

While the hubby's away, the wifey will play. What started out as a quiet, innocent dinner club meeting, ended as... a rowdy dessert at Shari's restaurant. WHAT WENT WRONG? The names below have been changed to protect the innocent.

It all started with the making of the mysterious manicotti - a ricotta cheese mixture squirted into manicotti tubes, covered with spaghetti sauce and baked. After taking it out of the oven, I met up with the beguiling Startling Beauty (who made breadsticks from scratch and prepared the "bagged" salad) and we headed for Molly Moe's. We enjoyed a lovely dinner together, ending with Molly's "Holy Canoli" cake. Our other club members, Agabrasta and Cleopatra, were unable to join us - Cleopatra, because we played phone tag all week, and Agabrasta, because her oldest son had pinkeye. We missed them but still had fun. After dinner, we prepared a plate for Agabrasta, and Startling and I traveled back to Agabrasta's apartment to surprise her with dinner.

And what did we find but a very harried Agabrasta, struggling with her two baby boys, who had smeared red pizza sauce on her light tan carpet, strewn her DVD collection across the living room, and scattered toys and chocolate chip cookie crumbs all over their bedroom. After Startling and I helped Agabrasta straighten up, we hung out for a while; and then, the evil idea was born... "Let's go out!" The night was still young and I had errands. Agabrasta was only too happy to accept our invitation.

At Millicent's home, the destination of one of the errands, the real debauchery began. "Let's go out for ice cream," we suggested to Millicent, who was just wicked enough to go along with our evil plan. As time passed, more plans were laid for this evening of fiendish delights. We first divulged to Millicent the secret combination of our monthly dinner club and invited her to take part. "Do I have to cook something?" she wailed. We told her to bring the bagged salad next time. Now caught up in the spirit of the evening, Millicent introduced the menacing idea of a girls' overnight stay at a local hotel to paint the town red. And THEN - this is where it got ugly - we decided to make our way around the village to certain homes, where unsuspecting women, cozy in their jammies, were about to be ousted by the Naughty Four. Soon we were on our way in my huge, somewhat-trusty car.

"Ding, Dong!" sang several doorbells... and before they knew it, Sing-Singa-Song and Klashanka were swept up in the revelry. Kasnostra begged to be spared, citing a migraine. Husbands reluctantly let their wives out into the dark night, not knowing what terrible fate lay before them...

One husband in particular, Millicent's Dackleback, was horribly afflicted by our sinister deeds. Not only did we prevail upon him to care for Agabrasta's two babies but - as we were about to be on our way with our ill-gotten booty, the somewhat-trusty car became somewhat-less-than-trusty. Almost as if it knew what was happening, the car tried to thwart us! It "pretended" to have a dead battery, right there in Millicent's driveway. Poor longsuffering Dackleback was subjected to the dreaded jumper cable torture, but knowing he had no choice, he manfully participated.

FINALLY the horrible festivities could begin. The radio blaring the Beach Boys' "Kokomo," the nonchalant bumping of the backseat passengers' heads as we went over speed bumps, and the discussion of Val Kilmer's teeth going full force (Millicent thinks they're too long and I think he's completely perfect), added to the depraved atmosphere. There was no stopping us - chaos was left in our wake.

As we made our way into the restaurant, a group of four young males almost lost their eyeballs and gave themselves whiplash checking out blond and beautiful Agabrasta. The waitress, who somehow knew we were up to no good, hesitantly seated us. Sensing the nervous tension of four manipulative females and their two helpless victims out for a night of ice cream, she brought us incredibly small glasses of ice water and continued to bother us until we ordered our desserts. Conversation flew; dark secrets were revealed; laughter rang throughout the restaurant. Klashanka and Sing-Singa-Song, resigned to their fate, shared a turtle sundae. Rejoicing that our dastardly plot had met with such sweet success, Startling Beauty, Agabrasta, Millicent and I indulged in Shari's Delights and strawberry cheesecake sundaes, and enjoyed this impromptu meeting of four wicked minds.

We glued his nose back together, Part 2

So the glue didn't work. The cut's in a weird place to try to hold it together. Back to the phone, calling the advice nurse... back to the doctor's office... more screaming about stitches...but the happy ending is, no stitches OR more glue!

This doctor first gave Harrison some topical anesthetic, then cleaned the wound out and inspected it. He said it would heal fine - there might be a minimal scar (which won't show - it's in Harrison's "nose cleavage"). The doctor didn't even want to mess with stitches. He said stitches could introduce infection, and an infection on the "mid-face" is hospital-worthy. He gave Harrison some antibiotic ointment and sent us home.

That deck of cards I bought Saturday is still in my purse and has really come in handy this week. Last night Hubby and I played gin rummy while we waited to see the doctor, and tonight Harrison and I played Go Fish. I taught him to play Crazy 8s and Kings in the Corner. He was impressed with his mother's card game knowledge.