Ways to piss off Daddy, #367:

Have Alexa play We Didn't Start The Fire and sing along but only sing the lyrics "Elvis Presley, Disneyland" over and over again

Thus this blog lives on

The historian in me cringes at the thought of #DeleteFacebook - it's basically a family journal of the last 9 years. 

So I've begun Operation Dismantle Facebook instead.

Also: Note to me: salvia Hot Lips

Shipping Heartbreak

Discovering that the box I chose will hold 100 bonnets...

...but not 102.

We have a name

It's Monday morning

and I may look like an average middle age mom but inwardly I'm wearing my cowboy boots and dancing my bum off to Hurts So Good

Welp

I need to join a new band, one where the lead singer isn't joined at the hip to his mother.

As it is I keep coming up with inappropriate band names, the least obnoxious being Motherboy.

Robby and the Mothers.

Psycho and Norman Bates are probably taken.

Wind In Her Hair

THERE ARE NO PRETZEL STICKS IN THIS COSTCO

On Mother's Day

I made myself a mix CD full of funky favorites.

And now all I gotta say is 

EV'RYBODY TAKE IT TO THE TOP

WE'RE GONNA STOMP

Mother's Day Sweets

Thanks, Barbara! 

Happy Birthday From Grannie

H opens an envelope.

NICE.

Looks Like a Good Day

...for a new phone.

There Was An Attempt

...to clean our messy, messy bedroom.

But then, of course, the inevitable happened

...

Love it.

C Locates His Backpack

"You guys wanna hear how I found my backpack? It was really dark in my room cuz H was sleeping, so I just started kicking stuff. Three bruised toes later, I finally found it.

"I think I kicked my desk twice."

Messing Around...

Messing around after band rehearsal was so fun today. 

There's never enough time to play all the music. Can't I have myself cloned?

In other news: I just found this. 

I wore this sweater how many times with a pushpin embedded in it!

Also: 

Evening: We went to Robby & Lisa's.

New Dining Set!

Spent a fun evening loading this into Sherlock the minivan. Hubby's co-worker Barb's neighbor* is remodeling his dining room and gifted us this fun set. Every chair is unique.

Aww, it looks so nice.

*best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard it from this guy who knows this kid who knows a girl ...

O For A Thousand Vats of Biofreeze

Eleven pages of pounding eighth notes? Yeah, we're gonna need it.

It sounded amazing today.

(Mostly) Rhetorical Mail Questions

How many more times will the #USPS bring us mail for previous occupants, on which I've written "Not at this address" and deposited into a blue USPS drop box? 

Should I be writing something else, besides the above or "Return To Sender" (my second attempt)?

During the holidays, did we not tip the mail carrier enough?

Have I angered some unknown mail god in some way? How can I appease its wrath? 

Most importantly: if this mail comes back a third time, do I then get to open it and keep what's inside?

Stellar Parenting, with Miss R.

R: S is having a team bonding party tonight. It's a sleepover. Is that okay? 

Me: As far as I know.....is she a drug dealer?

R: Yep

Me: Is she a pimp? 

R: Yep

Me: Wow, she's accomplished a lot for such a young age. 

R: Well she's a sophomore.

It's a good thing

...we only make artichoke dip on New Years Eve.... holy heck it's amazing.

Lovely

Two fires in the fireplace. Kitty is impressed by the cozy.

Today I got a few upvotes for my remarkably witty comeback, "Your butt is a mind-control device".... felt like a Reddit hero.

In other news, I've been sick for over a week and my husband says I've never looked or sounded hotter.