Have I mentioned the student we all call "Eyebrows" because of her atrocious makeup habits? If not, I'm mentioning her now.
Eyebrows has the unfortunate habit of giving herself the old five-finger discount, and we have several instances caught on video of her helping herself to drinks from the cooler, and leaving without paying. As a result, she's been "restricted" from entering the bookstore. I'd have thrown her terrible-at-applying-make-up butt in jail, but that's just me.
She's still a student, though, and needs textbooks for her classes, which we alone sell. So she's painted herself into a kind of hilarious corner. What did she think would happen with this?
Long story short: Eyebrows is using a financial assistance program to pay for her stuff, so she must order her items online anyway, but since she can't come inside the bookstore to pick up her order, we have to meet her outside our doorway and pass along her books to her. Again, hilarious.
There was a bit of a discussion about possibly shipping her books to her, which would have solved the whole thing, but that was nixed because she's obviously under financial strain and couldn't possibly be expected to pay for shipping. Those bottled Sbux coffee drinks aren't gonna pay for themselves (though, honestly, neither will she).
Giving her an escort to walk her through the store, probably an officer from Security, was also mentioned, which - how embarrassing, but maybe she should have had the foresight to consider that humiliation while she was loading "free" drinks into her backpack. Take that walk of shame, sweetheart.
Meeting Eyebrows at the security desk - situated conveniently outside the bookstore door - has become the solution, but of course nothing in this bookstore can be discussed without an argument. "We can't depend on the security team to be there, since their schedule is different from ours." DUH, you brainless wad.
Regardless of the security receptionists' schedule, the security desk is simply a physical location where we can meet our poor little black sheep and hand off her things. No one from security need be there (although having someone there would be handy, if she decides to rip back into the store and pinch something else, before we can stop her).*
In other news, I am sick to death of someone's shit. Like I'm physically tired today. I just want to go home where I am safe from the shit.
Why does the shit never stop? Is she just a never-ending fountain of shit, spewing her shit everywhere? Must the shit constantly be flowing? Does a shit shut-off valve exist, and if it does, how can we employ it?
The good news is that I was able to collect a new sweatshirt AND new T-shirt today. See if I ever buy another stitch of clothing from this place (after the significant amount of cash I blew on the darling knee-length black cotton hooded jacket, with drawstring waist and the stupid leather Cl@rk patch on the chest, which I picked off and in its place, stitched on a new bird patch from The French Door).
*This is a developing story and will be updated as events unfold