So I tried giving away the old dead hide-a-bed on Craigslist, because someone could use it, right? I received two "nibbles," one from a lady in a city north of us who didn't feel like driving that far, and another lady whom I kept trying to call back, but she never answered the phone - her family members, though, were always there with a "Can you call back tomorrow?" What, really? It inspired this Facebook entry (with a little help from my friends):
Status Update: Starting a new book called "Oh the Weirdos You'll Meet on Craigslist"
Me: Chapter One: Telephone Etiquette
Me: Chapter Two: Selling Your Ex-Girlfriend's Stuff Without Her Knowledge
Me: Chapter Three: Your Family Owns a Phone, Why?
Me: Chapter Four: Read the Posted Location Before You Call About the Ad and Find Out It's Farther Away Than You Feel Like Driving
Me: Chapter Five: You Better Answer the Phone Yourself Since No One in Your Family Can Find a Writing Utensil
Me: Chapter Six: It's Free. How Nice Could It Possibly Be?
Emily B: May I write the prologue, discussing the ins and outs of negotiating the price AFTER you've come to collect the item?
Me: Chapter Seven: No Seriously, Your Family Is Completely Telephone-Challenged. I Think They Have Community Ed Classes For That
Me: Em, YES.
Me: Chapter Eight: Developing a Good "No, Your House Doesn't Reek of Cat Pee At All!" Face
Mark P: PM me for advice on how to get rid of your cat pee smell.
Robin B: Has a few claw marks on the back of the couch, Interpreted as looks like it came out of a feline blender
Me: I don't have cat pee smell. Other people's houses do.
Jenn B: Chapter Nine: When Non-Negotiable Means To Offer Half.
Jenn B: Chapter Ten: Its For Sale But I Will Never Respond To Buyers
Me: Chapter Eleven: I'm Here With Money to Buy Your Unwanted Thing. I Don't Think It's Any of Your Business if It's "Going to a Good Home".
Robin B: Not my boat,it's not for sale, I don't know why it would be listed on craigslist are you sure you have the right number? "reads add to phonee" divorce sale what divorce....
Me: Chapter Twelve: I Called You About My Ad Yesterday, Your Idiot Brother Told Me You Weren't There and I Should Call Back Tomorrow. I Was Stupid and Took His Advice. Today I Got Your Grandmother and Her Stupid Yapping Dog and SHE Told Me To Call Back Later. I'm Starting To Wonder If Your Family Is Illiterate
Me: Chapter Thirteen: Giving Up and Sticking the Thing on the Curb With a "Free" Sign
Cousin Lynda: Chapter Twelve: How to deal with showing up to pay for and collect the item said seller agreed you could buy, then driving 2 hours out of your way to pick it up only to discover the seller is retarded and has since decided to "save" the item for another buyer who isn't there and called after you. And when you tell them what you think of this new development they threaten to call the police. Someone should work on the title of chapter twelve... I'm not sure how to shrink that all down. Lol
Suzanne S: Nat, these are hilarious!
Robin B: You pull up to the sellers home, the garage is open and looks like a picture strait out of the show Horders, The seller come out and they tell you, yeah, it's right over here in the back of the garage. You immediately ask for a rope lifeline and a GPs tracker before going in.
Carrie C: Chapter 14: After finding a great car for the price you wanted to pay you call and leave a message to a seller you had a appointment with to see their car to tell them you already found a car and won't be coming. The seller calls back a leaves a message calling you a yuppie and you're the ruination of this country. Sorry dude we didn't buy your car. We don't handle disappointment very well do we?
Me: A Yuppie?? What an AWFUL insult!!!
Me: Chapter Fifteen: Before You Open the Door to the Person Who Answered Your Ad, and Told You They'd Be Coming Over, Put Some Dang Clothes On and Act Like You're Awake
Jenn B: Chapter Fifteen: When To Give Up Because No One Is Buying Your Fill Dirt
Jenn B: Okay Sixteeen....
Jenn B: Chapter Seventeen: How To Legally Sell Your PeePee Mattresses.
Me: Chapter Seventeen: Tell Your Churlish Father Figure to Head to the Bedroom If He Can't Be Pleasant To the Nice Couple Who Came to the Door
Carrie C: I know! I always assumed yuppies could afford new cars not 10 year old cars for no more than $3,000 that hopefully does not have too many miles on them . You're buying this car all because your teenage son just wrecked your mini van. Maybe he's confused about what a yuppie is?
Me: Chapter Eighteen: Don't Freak and Call People Yuppies if They Reject Your Car
Jenn B: Chapter Nineteen: How To Remove "Kerry Edwards" Bumperstickers and Other Decals Before Selling Your Car
Jenn B: Chapter Twenty: How To Read The Dating Section Without Saying At Least Once, "Dude, No Wonder Youre Single".
Me: Oh yeah. The dating section is a whole 'nother book.
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| Nice weather we're having |
We finished out the night by watching and enjoying the crazy disturbing goodness of Suddenly, Last Summer. Whoa!