BYUFS

But First: I don't wanna wear pants for the rest of my life.

Dreamed that I was trying to go back to BYUI but they wouldn't let me in because of my "low moral character".

My offenses (along with general sluttiness) were "getting flipped off in a church parking lot" and "once wearing a pornographic ponytail."

So. Darn it.

Bella: You're a perfect candidate for my new school. BYUFS, BYU For Sluts

Me: Isn't every BYU a BYUFS?

Bella: Only when you're there