DON'T PUT THAT CRAP ON ME

I'm at the mall - on Black Friday, mind you - to satisfy my youngest's shopping gene, which she did not inherit from me. I can think of several medical procedures I'd rather be having than be here on Black Friday. The crap we do for our children...

We survived an awkward encounter with a 20 year old Israeli who tried to fake-flirt me into buying his $100 moisturizer. Just. Dude. 

If you need me, I'll be spending the rest of the time in my happy place.

:::Later:::

Everyone in my family is getting either an Ove Glove, a Chia Pet, or The Clapper for Christmas. 

There. Done.