When you find yourself praying
"Please let it be hemorrhoids."
A male child has reported seeing a "significant" amount of blood where it should not be, i.e., in the loo. Appointment with the doctor in twoish hours.
Prayers are great.
Snickering is fine too. His sister has already expressed her worry that the doctor will have to "look at his butt," which to her would seriously be a fate worse than death. The laugh cat is out of the bag already. It's OK.