~ Take your dog for a walk in the cemetery and leave the leash at home.
~ Go to Cub Scout Day Camp and forget the suncreen, the hand sanitizer, or the Band-Aids.
~ Ask nosy questions or gossip (except to your husband, who doesn't care).
~ Let anyone - i.e., the gossip topic - find out you asked nosy questions and gossiped.
~ Say, "Is that funeral home humor?" when a funeral home employee cracks an innocent joke. (They feel really bad when you do this.)
~ Eat things made out of honey when you know you're allergic to honey and don't like being itchy.
~ Cut your own hair in a fit of despondency or extreme giddiness, or because you looked at someone's hair and thought, "Good grief, I could do that."
~ Dry dust.
~ Stop kissing, hugging, or tickling the child just because he's fifteen.
~ Grab strange men's butts at the mall.
~ Go without a bra if you're well-endowed (and by "well-endowed" I mean "lop those things off, you'd be fifty pounds lighter")
~ Stop laughing.