Going Home, Part One

My brain is utterly fixated on the brand new bag of pistachios hiding somewhere in my minivan, among the suitcases, snacks, garbage, and bags of stuff my newly widowed mother-in-law gave us today. 

Death sucks, by the way.

Later: I love that there's a Garden of Eden truck stop in Eden, Idaho.

We first discovered this treasure while bringing L home last December. I made us stop here today.

In a Nutshell

People who shout garbage like "homosexuality is a sin" - leaders and members alike - don't deserve to have nice people like me go to church with them. So I stopped going.

Also this nugget:

H: This guy on the podcast said something about ADHD that was so relatable. C and I were both laughing.

Me: Oh, what was it?

H: I forgot

Weird Al: Strings Attached

My sweet and generous sister grabbed tickets for Hubby and me to see Weird Al with her and her husband P.

Beautiful Pacific, by Hubby

@HistoryTime_ are weenies

They: tweet something about Hedy Lamarr

I (have watched Blazing Saddles too many times):

They:

Random Gripe (From Working a Funeral)

Why are funerals always held right smack in the middle of the day? Like people want to spend the whole day farting around. Have it in the morning, or evening. But this all-day thing is lame. If it's my funeral, have a beach weekend.

Vacation

It's been a fun week so far. 

I have sand on my scalp. I call this vacation a success. 

Words of Wisdom

H, talking to C: "If you ever feel bad about yourself, just remember that there are people out there who think Trump is the second coming of Jesus."

C: "I don't."

What is "Three Bands I Wish Were Real"

Tone Deaf Leppard

Hoobaskank

...And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Discarded Slim Jim Wrappers

(Credit: @travisakers)

PANTS ARE STUPID

That's pretty much it.

Reflection

But first: I FINALLY LEARNED THE NAME OF THIS SONG!!!!!!!! 

holy poop I hate it when I don't know song titles.

Take a wissen.

And now:
(Language. Proceed with caution.)

Me to my kids five years ago: "Some people we go to church because they're there, and other people, we go to church despite them being there." = Some church members (including people my kids had to interact with) are assholes, but we go anyway because The Church Is Still True.

Me now: NOPE NOPE NOPE. We don't deliberately put our kids in the path of adults who shame them for their hair or clothes or attitudes. We don't take our gay kid to listen to anti LGBTQ rhetoric. We don't endanger their physical or mental health by entrusting them to psychos whose favorite damn phrase is 

"I CAN DO HARD THINGS"

because years later, looking back on all that my kids suffered because of MY belief in a religion, the hardest thing to do is forgive myself. 

I should have grabbed my babies and run out the door of that church.

Just having a little cry now.

I can't go back and change the past. 

"When you know better, you do better." 

Etc. 

Still wish I had a time machine.

smile

Right now I'm sitting outside in Redmond, Washington, watching my kids' soccer games. The temp is perfect under my umbrella.

Feeling the need to put something lovely and positive on Twitter today. So for my followers: You are very nice and you look amazing today.

Also, this pic.

The Knees

The knees worked hard rearranging furniture and hanging artwork and cleaning up the dang dog hair all day. Now they're chillin.

LEGS

Enjoying a lovely summer evening.

Speaking of being half-naked: "Old Slutty McHalfnaked" is what I'm calling my autobiography.

(Language)

And

doctor: i have good news and bad news. the bad news is your wife is going to be a widow

me: [devastated] what's the good news

doctor: [pulls out engagement ring] not for long

(Credit: @tiemoose)

Also this

I feel like dumping all my Facebook friends (except spouse, kids, and select friends) so I can see who's really interested in me. 

Also so I don't have to see things that make me sad or angry.

This

Doctor: *gives my baby a shot*

Baby: *cries*

Me: ew doc is my baby anti-vax?

Doctor: dammit get this anti-vax baby out of my office

Me: you heard him LEAVE, BABY

(Credit: @PleaseBeGneiss)

Back to hating sports.

And back to hating being out in the sun. My legs are sunburned and HOT.

Fact

I need another beach day.

Bottling Up Summer Evenings Like These

...so I'll have them to get through the winter.

Also: Today I Made: Quilt templates

Also: This is a common sight when I leave my bed. Weirdo.