PANTS ARE STUPID

That's pretty much it.

Reflection

But first: I FINALLY LEARNED THE NAME OF THIS SONG!!!!!!!! 

holy poop I hate it when I don't know song titles.

Take a wissen.

And now:
(Language. Proceed with caution.)

Me to my kids five years ago: "Some people we go to church because they're there, and other people, we go to church despite them being there." = Some church members (including people my kids had to interact with) are assholes, but we go anyway because The Church Is Still True.

Me now: NOPE NOPE NOPE. We don't deliberately put our kids in the path of adults who shame them for their hair or clothes or attitudes. We don't take our gay kid to listen to anti LGBTQ rhetoric. We don't endanger their physical or mental health by entrusting them to psychos whose favorite damn phrase is 

"I CAN DO HARD THINGS"

because years later, looking back on all that my kids suffered because of MY belief in a religion, the hardest thing to do is forgive myself. 

I should have grabbed my babies and run out the door of that church.

Just having a little cry now.

I can't go back and change the past. 

"When you know better, you do better." 

Etc. 

Still wish I had a time machine.

smile

Right now I'm sitting outside in Redmond, Washington, watching my kids' soccer games. The temp is perfect under my umbrella.

Feeling the need to put something lovely and positive on Twitter today. So for my followers: You are very nice and you look amazing today.

Also, this pic.

The Knees

The knees worked hard rearranging furniture and hanging artwork and cleaning up the dang dog hair all day. Now they're chillin.

LEGS

Enjoying a lovely summer evening.

Speaking of being half-naked: "Old Slutty McHalfnaked" is what I'm calling my autobiography.

(Language)

And

doctor: i have good news and bad news. the bad news is your wife is going to be a widow

me: [devastated] what's the good news

doctor: [pulls out engagement ring] not for long

(Credit: @tiemoose)

Also this

I feel like dumping all my Facebook friends (except spouse, kids, and select friends) so I can see who's really interested in me. 

Also so I don't have to see things that make me sad or angry.

This

Doctor: *gives my baby a shot*

Baby: *cries*

Me: ew doc is my baby anti-vax?

Doctor: dammit get this anti-vax baby out of my office

Me: you heard him LEAVE, BABY

(Credit: @PleaseBeGneiss)

Back to hating sports.

And back to hating being out in the sun. My legs are sunburned and HOT.

Fact

I need another beach day.

Bottling Up Summer Evenings Like These

...so I'll have them to get through the winter.

Also: Today I Made: Quilt templates

Also: This is a common sight when I leave my bed. Weirdo.

BYUFS

But First: I don't wanna wear pants for the rest of my life.

Dreamed that I was trying to go back to BYUI but they wouldn't let me in because of my "low moral character".

My offenses (along with general sluttiness) were "getting flipped off in a church parking lot" and "once wearing a pornographic ponytail."

So. Darn it.

Bella: You're a perfect candidate for my new school. BYUFS, BYU For Sluts

Me: Isn't every BYU a BYUFS?

Bella: Only when you're there

Truth

I can't recommend therapy enough. Either you're crazy, or your family is, and you have to find healthy ways to deal with it.

Seriously - find a good shrink.

BUBBLES

Hey you guys my hotel room has its own hot tub and I put Dawn dishwashing liquid in it and now look

Exmo Milestone

My mom on the phone to my stepdad: "Saw my daughter drink coffee for the first time today!"

Rose Parade 2019

Me: The color combination of those flowers is so beautiful.

Hubby: Why don't you MARRY it

Me: I dunno if I'll ever get married again. The last guy I married was kinda weird

Hubby: YOU'RE STILL MARRIED

Me: Well I didn't know. It sounded like we were exploring options. Polyamory, maybe? 

Hubby: Nooooooo. At least not for you.

Plan

Think I'll just hang out here in this Costco parking lot till I feel like being around humans again. 

Might be a while.

Also: Pun names are the absolute best.

Maybe both.

Maybe he's born with it.

Maybe he's PSYCHOTIC

Hey.

Don't get mad at me if your religion is known for protecting sexual predators. I'm not the crime boss here. 

And "At least it doesn't happen church-wide" is the lamest excuse in the excuse book. 

Own your crap, religious people. You enable this stuff with your money and presence.

HAPPY PRIDE

I'm beyond done with religious turds telling people what they should or shouldn't do, especially during Pride Month.