Have You Seen This Blog? (You Have Now)

My brain is utterly fixated on the brand new bag of pistachios hiding somewhere in my minivan, among the suitcases, snacks, garbage, and bag...

People who shout garbage like "homosexuality is a sin" - leaders and members alike - don't deserve to have nice people like me...

My sweet and generous sister grabbed tickets for Hubby and me to see Weird Al with her and her husband P.

They: tweet something about Hedy Lamarr I (have watched Blazing Saddles too many times): They:

Why are funerals always held right smack in the middle of the day? Like people want to spend the whole day farting around. Have it in the mo...

It's been a fun week so far.  I have sand on my scalp. I call this vacation a success. 

H, talking to C: "If you ever feel bad about yourself, just remember that there are people out there who think Trump is the second com...

Tone Deaf Leppard Hoobaskank ...And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Discarded Slim Jim Wrappers (Credit: @travisakers)

That's pretty much it.

But first: I FINALLY LEARNED THE NAME OF THIS SONG!!!!!!!!  holy poop I hate it when I don't know song titles. Take a wissen. ...

Right now I'm sitting outside in Redmond, Washington, watching my kids' soccer games. The temp is perfect under my umbrella. Fee...

The knees worked hard rearranging furniture and hanging artwork and cleaning up the dang dog hair all day. Now they're chill...

Enjoying a lovely summer evening. Speaking of being half-naked:  "Old Slutty McHalfnaked" is what I'm calling my autobiog...

doctor: i have good news and bad news. the bad news is your wife is going to be a widow me: [devastated] what's the good news d...

I feel like dumping all my Facebook friends (except spouse, kids, and select friends) so I can see who's really interested in me.  ...

Doctor: *gives my baby a shot* Baby: *cries* Me: ew doc is my baby anti-vax? Doctor: dammit get this anti-vax baby out of my of...

And back to hating being out in the sun. My legs are sunburned and HOT.

I need another beach day.

...so I'll have them to get through the winter. Also: Today I Made:  Quilt templates Also: This is ...