Puke

We've hit that portion of the program. I'm ready to go back to part time work. 

It's a bit more complicated now, though, since I've been training to do this full time job, and Dan is in the process of being hired for his new permanent position. 

That Time Has Come (Back)

9:32 AM: We're back to hours lagging by and I couldn't be more grateful. Summer is awesome. Fall will be a completely different story, but isn't it always? The phrase "fall rush" is enough to scare all of us bookstore people silly. It really should be whispered instead of spoken. 

Yesterday ended up much more positively than yesterday's post's portrayal of my situation. Sometimes a good cry and a good brownie is the perfect reset button. 

11:46 AM: At lunch, I ate what I brought from home (woot) and read a new Grisham book. Today's good deed involved educating 36-year-old Kyle about who Oingo Boingo is. Was. You're welcome, Kyle. 

11:57 AM: Trying to finish the yearly task of online training. Every other topic will allow us to test without watching the videos, EXCEPT for the Big Grosso: sexual harassment training. Ugh. 

1:48 PM: Cody and I finished our online training (including Big Grosso) and filled out our "I finished this" forms and turned them in to Amy. She was thrilled that it happened so early in the year. 

"ARE YOU stupid and ungood at things?"

When my kids were younger and being unkind to each other, I would usually hear something like, "Mom, ________ called me a butthole." 

To kind of joke them out of their anger/frustration/sadness, I would almost certainly answer, "And ARE YOU a butthole??" And they would most often giggle and say "No." 

Perception IS reality, but sometimes you have to skew it just a bit. 

Today my brain is tired and unhappy and feeling all the yuck of trying to learn all the new things and failing at them the first, second, third, etc., times. My brain wants her old job back, when the hours lagged on without a thing to do, and almost everything was doable and easy, and anything hard was solved by "Let me ask Dan about that." She is feeling stupid and ungood at things, and hates feeling that way (who LIKES feeling that way?).

Just gotta keep going. Have a cry, eat a brownie, and keep going. There's more success than failure happening here, and eventually everything will click, and things will be fine and easy and doable again. Eventually my coworkers will stop throwing new things at me. The hours will lag on again. 

No one is being unkind, and they're all wonderful and supportive, always. I'm just tired. Today especially has been a study in "everything I don't know and will need to learn in order to be capable at this job" and I feel dumb and stupid and stupid and dumb.

But am I? NOOOOOOOOO. I am not.

Gonna eat my brownie now.

Applications: DONE

9:49 AM: All fifty applications have been scored on the website, printed and stapled, Post-It-ed, alphabetized by first name, stacked and clipped into groups of ten, and memo'd (stuff like "yes", "no", "maybe", and other noteworthy details). 

WHEW. This was seriously stressing me out, and our upcoming meeting still has me filled with a slight edginess, just because it's something I've never done before. I like being immediately perfect at everything I try, you know? My brain hates mistakes. I keep sighing these huge sighs, now that I'm done with this task. 

Otherwise, business remains blissfully slow. Mike probably isn't a fan of having nothing to do but I absolutely love summer quarter for this. 

10:54 AM: My planner arrived yesterday and I love it. Had a weird anxiety attack while I was filling it out today, however. I was writing family birthdays into the different month pages and started feeling AWFUL. Something about living through the next five years, and not knowing what it will bring... I hate the current administration with all of my heart. Who doesn't (except for the stupid and the cruel)?

How dare that THING take away my geeky love of planning? He has ruined everything. This is hardly a problem compared to what other people are going through, but it still affects me. I've never had a POTUS bring me this much... anything. We're hanging on for dear life here - some of us, literally.

Handling The Things

10:46: Yesterday, in a fit of mini-rage, I wrote down everything I need to keep tabs on throughout the day, as well as a list of all the websites I should keep open on my computer, and today I am... kicking butt at it. Making decisions and solving the problems, just like Rick Moranis in Ghostbusters II. Don't let me get cocky, now. 

My new planner is due to arrive today and I'm practically drooling at the thought of it. Such a geek. There will be SO MUCH PLANNING.

It's Quiet... Too Quiet

9:50 AM: Fun fact: The "Q word" is verboten to use around the Security guys. They'll nail ya if they hear you say it. It's akin to saying "Macbeth" in a theater (which, why are we not allowed to do this?). 

All this to say that I'm caught up on everything that I know how to do, except I could probably take more notes on the applications I missed taking notes on. I did score all of them yesterday. Dan is training with Liz, and Mike is the only cashier, so I can't really leave for long, like go outside and take a walk, or anything. Guess I'll go fill up my water bottle and wash out my coffee cup. 

(YES, old Mormon me, "COFFEE CUP". That is exactly what you just heard me say.)

(Old Mormon identities: you have to internally yell at them to get them to shut up.)

I can also water my plants and Heidi's. I'll go do that.

11:07: Did it. Also visited with Killian and his wife and 6-week-old son and the rest of the Security folks for a few minutes. Baby is so precious and sweet. 

In other news: I'm kind of cranky. Maybe I need to visit the bakery for a cookie.

2:26: Ate lunch. Did some training. Updated the joke white board. Feeling significantly better. 

Back To It

We just enjoyed a lovely weekend at the stunning Lake Crescent, near Port Angeles, Washington, where Hannah's family has owned a cabin for decades. This year we had both cars in good working order, mostly, and were able to take M, Little R, Little C, and Goober Dog. Fun and relaxation were had (just not in either car, ha ha). We did the postcard trip journal thing again. 

Today went well. Summer quarter continues to be a lovely, slow, chill time at the bookstore, most of the time. I'm learning more new things and enjoying all the old tasks as well. Life is good and I'm really not minding the full time-ish gig. We're ordering a five-year planner for me from Amaz*n, and the bookstore is paying. I'll take that. 

WE HAVE MADE IT THROUGH WEEK 2

7:29 AM: Maybe I should wait till I'm actually done with my shift before I start celebrating, but I did drive through Sbux to congratulate myself on two whole weeks in this new gig. Feeling pretty confident that I'm able to handle whatever new thing that comes along. There will be more new things, plenty more, but so far, I seem to be juggling everything. 

9:49: Things are so chill. Solving the problems. Straightening the curves, flattening the hills - someday the mountain might get me, but the law never will. 

10:56: Maybe this lemon thumbprint cookie from the college bakery will soothe my frazzled nerves. It's current government-related. I hate these people in charge. 

11:56: Getting excited for our trip to a sneakrety-sneakret spot tomorrow. Wish we could take the kayaks. 

Summer Rush

...is mostly over for the week (next Monday will be rush part 2). Dan was available for helping on Monday, thanks to Monica giving him the day off from training, but yesterday and today he's back on it. So far I'm keeping my head above water. Thankfully summer rush is a tiny, tiny version of fall rush. It's just enough of a taste of what's coming that I'm pretty sure I'll be able to manage, and I'm seeing where the holes in my knowledge are, with enough time to pick up new info and skills. 

So I'm pretty happy at the moment. The timing has been perfect for taking on this new role. I'm very grateful. 

In other news: I'm TIRED, and I have a thorn in my right thumb that I picked up from pruning blackberry vines last Friday and it HURTS whenever I bump it against something. And I have no sewing kit in my backpack! What are the odds? I'm usually overprepared for everything! 

10:45: Kyle went home - business is that slow. This is good info for next summer. Mike is cashiering and Ryan is at ISP, managing the appointments and packaging orders at the same time. I'm keeping up with whatever the computer throws at me. 

11:15: Amy brought in a new crop of applications to look at and score (eventually, after Dan teaches me how - I just received my permissions Monday). I immediately alphabetized them and highlighted each name, because I love being that way about it.

11:30: R came by after her workout to pick up the car keys, so she can grocery shop later. She visited with B and Akim and I. Fun to see her. 

12:15 PM: Lunch and texting with Hubby - J's PO let Hubby know that J has now been fitted with a new GPS device. He was, to quote the PO, "not happy about it", which fills my heart with glee. We're not telling my siblings, who were under the impression that he's been on GPS this whole time. 

1:09 PM: Bought a damn sewing kit. Let the thorn removal commence.

1:17 PM: We are now thorn-free, with a minimum of bloodshed, and the sewing kit is now at home in my desk drawer. Woot

3:24 The afternoon's activities included a meeting with Monica about an upcoming fall event (I need to do something about starting some kind of work-inclusive calendar), some last minute paperwork and computer stuff, and the usual goofing off. Dan gave a bit more insight into the timing of my most-likely new permanent position and what his role will be, shift-wise. Glad we'll still get to hang out and joke around. 

Cruel. Cruel Summer.

 I guess, more like, cruel new job, keeping me from summer idyll.

Life is a series of giving one thing up to get something different. The money will be nice. 

Day Three

 10:17 AM: ...and all's wellllllllll. Orders were pulled by Dan, Kayla K, Leilani and I; have been processed by me; and packaged by Kayla K (we have two Kaylas, but the other Kayla is in Florida for the next three months - we miss her). No account requests have come through yet. 

The students are mostly in a good mood, with one notable exception: a "known quantity" came through and demanded to donate her textbooks. Kayla sweetly requested that this lady take them to the library, but apparently the library is closed, because about ten minutes later, the lady came through the line and rudely plopped her bag of books on our counter, proclaiming "THEY'RE CLOSED", then stalked off. 

I'm proud of the way my skin has grown thicker through this job. Once I became aware that some people are just nuts and can't or won't control their impulses, and NOTHING they do is intentional or personal to me*, I've had a nice easy time dealing with these folks. Like in the movie Elf, when Will Ferrell happens upon an angry raccoon and exclaims "Look at you!", I'm able to glance at them, see their behavior, and be entertained by it instead of letting it get to me. I'm happy.

Otherwise, the morning has been extremely pleasant and chill. Dan's training continues. Heidi had surgery this morning and hopefully it went well. 

11:25 AM: GOOD LORD. Everything exploded there for a minute. People have been coming in with wacky questions and situations that are taking forever and a whole team of professionals to unravel. And how did I already forget the combination to the safe?? Thank goodness, it finally came back to me. 

12:51 PM: Back from lunch. Hubby texted to say that J is in Portland and Vancouver today. I texted M and R to make sure the curtains are closed and the door is locked. I doubt he'd be stupid enough to try to come to our house, but we just don't know with him. Work is going fine, otherwise. 

*This would have been excellent knowledge to have when I was a child

Working Title Here

 7:45 AM: Yeah, I don't know what to title these anymore. I think it'll be more of a work diary for a minute. It feels good to put my thoughts down somewhere and be able to type instead of write. 

9:56 AM: Keeping all the balls in the air is weird, yet here I am doing it, somehow. I just did my first "text employee and ask if they can work an extra shift" text. Having access to everyone's info is also weird. The word of the day so far is "weird".

11:08 AM: Just. Wow. It's coming at me every single minute. Sitting down feels like the wrong choice, but so does standing up. 

11:37 AM: When is lunch? I visited Bellamy and it made me happy. 

12:16: Lunch. Starting to feel like that scene from The Firm, where Mitch keeps having random folks throw more crap on his desk. 

2:43 PM: Oh yeah, I have a blog. Holy heck, I'm hip deep in account setups. Hopefully, at some point, I will be quicker at doing this. 

TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE

 7:45 AM: It's also my first day in my new interim Cashier 4 role. Should I be more freaked out? Time will tell.

11:20: I had to walk myself through using the fax machine without Dan, who is being trained by Liz. The fax happened (finally) and the customer received his confirmation page, so apparently I do know how to fax. Can I teach other people to do it? This is the question. I finally had to re-enact the entire process and write it all down, step by step. 

I'm also keeping an eyeball on the WES list, so I can add new accounts for students, and my email, which is doing a soft explode of new topics to sort through and absorb. Gratefully, I can still cashier. 

11:53 AM: Someone from another department on campus emailed and asked me to "open" her accounts. I had to ask Heidi what this meant. I had already completed the task, just had no idea what this person was asking. The vocabulary everyone uses is yet one more thing I'll be learning.

12:30: Lunch. Note to me: don't buy those croissant sandwiches from Winco deli - they taste like refrigerator. 

1:35: Feeling completely overwhelmed by everything, but I'll survive. I have good people around me who won't let me fail. 

2:52: Found out I'll be working until 3:30 every day, this week and next week, instead of 3:00. What the hell, it's 30 more minutes, and more money. Increased my amounts and percentages! Shhh.

Weekly Reports

I'm thinking of doing something to keep track of my progress in various areas of life, to keep myself accountable for staying productive instead of *ahem* messing about with my phone. Kind of a life-stealer, that thing. 

I love my bullet journal but it's running out of room, so I may do something here. 

LATER

Things I did over the last few days that were not phone- or doom-scrolling-related:

1) Yesterday, Hubby and I were driving around doing errands, and ended up driving by, and then touring, a house for sale in our neighborhood. It has 500 more square feet than ours, and we liked it pretty well (I liked it more than Hubby), but we found that the extra square footage is all used up in the bedrooms, and there's a living room but no family room - not a good fit for us.

Still, we're now planning to look for something new around here. We contacted our real estate agent, and I looked at storage units that we can start moving unnecessary stuff into. I have really begun to love our property, but I can't see us staying there with M and the granddaughters living with us. We'd have to remodel, or move. 

2) I attended a meeting with a political group that has existed for a long time, but with our current political situation, has never seemed more relevant. We've entered what I call the Flight 93 portion of the program, where (on 9/11/2001) the WTC towers and the Pentagon have been struck, and now people are on the phone with their loved ones on Flight 93 to warn them of what's coming. 

After the first few shocking weeks of T's second administration, people are waking up, taking action, and fighting back. I'm honored to be one of them. 

We met to write postcards to voters in another state, to encourage them to vote for the more progressive candidate running for office in their area. It felt GOOD to gather with these local folks - I plan to join them again in the future.

3) Hubby and I have been doing more "dating". We went to dinner at a brew pub Friday night, and to breakfast at one of our favorite local spots yesterday, and we're planning a quick beach getaway for tomorrow night and Wednesday. We'll be celebrating our 33rd wedding anniversary on Friday, 2/28. 

4) I spent some quality time reorganizing my sewing area in the basement (part of the reason for #1, above - it's like a slide puzzle down there). There's so much clutter, furniture, books, bookcases... yikes. But I made some good progress. Now I just need a new TV for playing DVDs and videotapes - RIP our 30-year-old TV - and I'll be in business. 

5) Genealogy up the wazoo. I've been working on a document about where my ancestors were for each U.S. census, and last night, as always happens while working on that project, I stumbled across numerous unrelated nuggets of information. Yesterday's included three stints in jail (two of them were the husbands of one of Grandma D's first cousins; one was my aunt Elizabeth, sister of Great Grandpa D - I think hers was Prohibition-related, which is just a dumb reason to incarcerate someone - but I did find out she was exactly five feet tall). 

It got to be a little bit much - why do people do things? my poor cousin - and I finally had to put it away when I found that another cousin passed away from a heart attack in his 30s, and his wife unfortunately followed him two months later with self-inflicted asphyxiation in her car/garage. Just too much at that point. 

6) Breakfast in Oregon City with my sweet friend, Beth - there's never enough time with her.

7) Created a monthly rotating dinner menu - no big deal but it'll help us decide what to shop for.

8) Dishes and laundry, of course. 

Vegas Day 1

Flight from PDX to LAS (Alaska Air) was impeccable - we even arrived twenty minutes early. We took a cab from LAS to our hotel, dropped off our bags, and ate lunch at one of the hotel restaurants. The food was so tasty.

The Coworkers Surprised Me

 I arrived at work to find Clay the Custodian mopping. "Happy Birthday," he grinned. "Wanna know how I know it's your birthday?"

He pointed to the plastic birthday banner I brought from home for Dan's birthday earlier this month, stretched across our office "door" between a file cabinet and the cashiers' binder. 

Very cute. Dan and Heidi are celebrating early since I won't be here Saturday, and with our upcoming trip, I won't be working again till February. 

They're all so darling. This is my most favorite job EVERRRRRR. 

If I ever figure out how to upload pictures again, I'll throw some in.