Vacation

It's been a fun week so far. 

I have sand on my scalp. I call this vacation a success. 

Words of Wisdom

H, talking to C: "If you ever feel bad about yourself, just remember that there are people out there who think Trump is the second coming of Jesus."

C: "I don't."

What is "Three Bands I Wish Were Real"

Tone Deaf Leppard

Hoobaskank

...And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Discarded Slim Jim Wrappers

(Credit: @travisakers)

PANTS ARE STUPID

That's pretty much it.

Reflection

But first: I FINALLY LEARNED THE NAME OF THIS SONG!!!!!!!! 

holy poop I hate it when I don't know song titles.

Take a wissen.

And now:
(Language. Proceed with caution.)

Me to my kids five years ago: "Some people we go to church because they're there, and other people, we go to church despite them being there." = Some church members (including people my kids had to interact with) are assholes, but we go anyway because The Church Is Still True.

Me now: NOPE NOPE NOPE. We don't deliberately put our kids in the path of adults who shame them for their hair or clothes or attitudes. We don't take our gay kid to listen to anti LGBTQ rhetoric. We don't endanger their physical or mental health by entrusting them to psychos whose favorite damn phrase is 

"I CAN DO HARD THINGS"

because years later, looking back on all that my kids suffered because of MY belief in a religion, the hardest thing to do is forgive myself. 

I should have grabbed my babies and run out the door of that church.

Just having a little cry now.

I can't go back and change the past. 

"When you know better, you do better." 

Etc. 

Still wish I had a time machine.

smile

Right now I'm sitting outside in Redmond, Washington, watching my kids' soccer games. The temp is perfect under my umbrella.

Feeling the need to put something lovely and positive on Twitter today. So for my followers: You are very nice and you look amazing today.

Also, this pic.

The Knees

The knees worked hard rearranging furniture and hanging artwork and cleaning up the dang dog hair all day. Now they're chillin.

LEGS

Enjoying a lovely summer evening.

Speaking of being half-naked: "Old Slutty McHalfnaked" is what I'm calling my autobiography.

(Language)

And

doctor: i have good news and bad news. the bad news is your wife is going to be a widow

me: [devastated] what's the good news

doctor: [pulls out engagement ring] not for long

(Credit: @tiemoose)

Also this

I feel like dumping all my Facebook friends (except spouse, kids, and select friends) so I can see who's really interested in me. 

Also so I don't have to see things that make me sad or angry.

This

Doctor: *gives my baby a shot*

Baby: *cries*

Me: ew doc is my baby anti-vax?

Doctor: dammit get this anti-vax baby out of my office

Me: you heard him LEAVE, BABY

(Credit: @PleaseBeGneiss)