Happy Birthday C!!

This boy! He stays busy.

Just a few pics from the past year.

We love you, MAN (one of his favorite sayings is "I'm a MAN").

Happy Birthday! We love you!

ding ding ding

Here we have some darling young ladies and soccer teammates 

bell-ringing for Salvation Army at the Fred's on 164th.

R is in the middle.

R's First Band Concert

All through elementary school, she wanted to play the trumpet when she made it to middle school and could play in the band, but when she started band, she decided the sax was cool and not many people were playing it. And so she found her niche.

We had fun (NOT) shopping for this skirt today, by the way. Burlington Coat Factory saw two very frustrated ladies with not much time racing around trying to find a black skirt R liked and ANY white top that wasn't see-through or a polo shirt (she wasn't going to wear a polo shirt). It's a good thing she had this cute sweater at home. Disaster averted.

The songs they played (which she says were easy) were the old perennial favorites Hot Cross Buns, Old McDonald, Ode to Joy, and other beginner band songs. It was a good concert.

Afterward we went to Baskin-Robbins for ice cream with our old friends Tatum, her mom Chrisie, and the G extended family. Happy times.

Three Weeks Ago

....the doctor fwinged out my right ovary (Bella and I like to pretend that the doctor stuck a fork in it and then flipped the fork sideways - FWING!) and right Fallopian tube, and apparently installed a backbone.

Look out world! 

Ugh. This Country Is Populated By Idiots

I really don't get conservatives sometimes. And I *am* conservative. Turn off the cable news and stop feeling so threatened and paranoid about everything. Aren't you white? Didn't your guy win last night? Who's chasing after you? Your guy won, and you're still screaming and whining about liberals and the biased media? Doesn't it ever get exhausting? Why don't you just appreciate that this country has always been led by rich white guys and be happy that he's taking office? Just sit back and relax, for once? The rest of us are mighty tired of your misguided squalling. Especially today.

Done with Facebook

 In February 2016, my doctor discovered I had a cyst on my right ovary. "We'll watch it and measure it," she said. "Sometimes they clear up on their own. Sometimes they grow larger."

Several months and ultrasound tests later, the thing had added two more centimeters; my doctor decided it was growing fast enough that it was time to take action. In September I was given blood tests to see if my little hop-on was malignant. Thankfully it wasn't. We scheduled a laparoscopic surgery to remove it, the ovary it had probably "eaten", and the affected Fallopian tube, on October 20.

Surgery went well. My husband bundled me up, took me home, walked me up the stairs to bed and made sure I took my pills.

There I lay, for eight days.

All this time, I updated my status on Facebook. "Home from the chop shop," I said the first day. "These pills are great," Day 2 said. "Getting a little sick of this lying around stuff," Day 3 surmised. Just goofy little missives while I lay there healing. My friends were nice and left comments. I got sick of talking about my surgery, but really there was nothing else going on, so I had nothing more to say. People stopped commenting. That was fine.

After that, my phone stayed silent. No one called, texted, or commented again. Of course people cared, I knew; but I heard nothing from anyone - family, friends, church (I had told my visiting teacher not to worry about meals or any kind of help - my husband and children are more than capable of cooking and cleaning for themselves). It really, really sucked. I was bored, lonely, hurting, and weak.

By Day 6 - keep in mind that I was using narcotics - I was fed up. No one cares, I thought. I could be dead right now and no one cares, except my husband and kids. In a fit of pouty rage I changed my name to something that would direct my "true" friends to my Twitter account; I then deactivated my Facebook account (making it impossible for any of my "true" friends to find me and therefore locate my Twitter account - like I said, narcotics). Afterward, I thought long and hard about friendship.

I knew people cared about me and my well being, but where were they? Using Facebook, just like me. I couldn't remember a time when I had ever texted a friend and asked "How are you?" while they were recovering from something, let alone call or visit or bring them something. I depended on their Facebook status updates to keep me in the loop. That's the kind of relationships we all have now.

I blame myself for depending on Facebook to maintain my relationships. Because I'd done that for so long, I no longer had physical people around me, except the people I see and talk to every day - my husband and children. All my other relationships felt superficial.

Facebook lies to us about our relationships. It gives us a false sense of friendship, of caring, of love. Love is service, something that I've neglected terribly in the last seven years that I've used Facebook. "Liking" a post isn't love or service. It's nice, but it's a distraction from what people really need.

I've dumped Facebook, and have replaced it with texting, calling, inviting friends out to lunch, making plans for the future, actual conversations and hugs and laughing. Staying close to the people I love, so that if they ever need my help, I'll know it, and I'll act on it.

Thanks, eight-days-in-bed. My life will be greatly improved after this, because of you.

Yep.

Still allergic to honey.

Course by course, one by one, till you shout, "Enough, I'm done!!!!"

Today I left the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Dinner

White toast with hummus. That should balance out nicely.

Also, this:

With her 3rd husband, she uses the word "always" - it being a relative term meaning "until Hubby #4 comes along"

First Day of School 2016

Makers of mischief. Schools, beware.

H and C are together again for the first time since elementary school, H a senior and C a freshman. We took them to school and watched them walk in together this morning and my heart just flipped. There went the two "fighter monkeys." Good luck, high school!

R is in 7th grade and unlike last year at this time, looking forward to the new school year. Last year's transition from 5th to 6th grade (elementary to middle school) was rough. But this year she feels more comfortable, has a few more friends, and is playing SAXOPHONE in the band!

Good times!

Pretty much

Meeting

"I've called you all here today because...."

Cuddling

...and watching Girl Meets World ❤❤

Waiting With Bella...

...until it's time for her to go in for a job interview.

Bella: Guess who's stressed!

Me: YOU DON'T NEED THIS STUPID JOB! IT'S NOT IMPORTANT! YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU WANT! You go in there and tell 'em where they can stick their JOB

Bella: Okay! See you in 45 minutes when I'm done yelling at the manager!

(I'm shocked at the things that come out of my mouth sometimes. "No good mother would say that! What are you doing??")

Later: She got the job! She's working at the Winco on Highway 99, in the deli!

Worst Cemetery Name Ever:

Mount Ever-Rest.

BOOOOOOO.

I. R. Pissed

Spent some time volunteering at the North stake Family History Center today.

Tonight we learned that the new school year starts August 31st. GROSS!!

The first day of school is usually the Wednesday after Labor Day, but this year, that would put the first day of school on September 7. Apparently that can't happen. 

BOOOOOO HISSSSSSS

I have a situation

Goofing at the Roseburg (Oregon) soccer fields

FINALLY

....She likes her kitty tree

Color War

It's Spirit Week at C & R's school. 

(We own nothing yellow.)

Green, we have more of.

Housey Stuff

Cutie Hubby fixing the bathroom sink

New sewing area! Thanks, Hubby, for hauling this thing upstairs!

I unpacked another box! 

Seattle: Snoqualmie Falls

B and I visited the falls, footbridge, and lodge today.

Found in the gift shop. This spoke to me. B, not so much.

The footbridge

A photograph inside the footbridge, of these women overlooking the falls back in the day. This one made me cry. And laugh. And hug B. "I'll never let go."

Thanks, Snoqualmie Falls!

Quick Trip To Seattle

Having mentioned that we have a gay child, I was approached by two LDS friends from high school about participating in a study the LDS church was conducting. The church's marketing firm were going to interview parents, peers, and church youth leaders of LGBTQ LDS kids, in three stakes around the United States.

My friend M (married to my dear friend B) is in the stake presidency in one of those stakes, in Seattle. They asked me to come up, participate in the study, and spend the night with them after the meeting.

So today, I drove up to Seattle and to the church and met M there. It was so fun to see him for the first time in almost 30 years, and trippy to see him older and acting in his stake position. Weren't we 16 and 14, like, two weeks ago?

While waiting to be brought in, I did the obvious and took selfies, then snooped around the building. It's an older church with interesting architecture, quite a departure from the standard stake centers I've become used to.

This pulpit has two lecterns, for what I hope is when dueling bishops stand up to debate doctrine ("Showing shoulders is fine!" "Showing shoulders is PORNOGRAPHIC!!").

I like the blue and white.

Very nice.

About the actual study, I can't share much because I signed an NDA, but I can say that the meeting was absolutely gut-wrenching and I spent most of the time in tears, sometimes sobbing. Other parents in the group were right there with me, some becoming quite animated as they discussed the effects the LDS church had had on their LGBTQ kids. Just completely painful. 

Still, I came away from it feeling heard, and hopeful that something we said would touch the church leaders and help them see what devastating experiences they and the members create for these precious kids. I felt positive about the doctrinal changes that would hopefully come soon. 

Afterward, I followed M to their house, hugged the crap out of B, spent some time talking with them about the study, the church, and life in general, and went to bed exhausted. 

Piano Babes

Love it when they hang out like this. ❤❤

And: a random shot of R (and Robin Hood).

Growing Stuff

B's aloe vera baby

....and his beans

Bella's lavender seeds

My teensy catnip! 

Gabby's Wedding

Church selfies

Me and Hubby

C and me 

At the reception:

The Cat's in the Bag

....and there she sat for another two hours

At Mom and Bob's House

Driving to Tri-Cities - Mom and Jer

Me and D

H and me