I'm thinking...

… of starting a family newsletter, just for my household, called “The Daily Nag.”

Included would be such motherly/wifely gems as:

“B, that fusty bedroom ain’t gonna clean itself… the Editor”

“Is, you have the most darling tiny forehead I’ve ever seen on a teenage girl, but I’d appreciate it if you’d pick up your rancid-smelling soccer socks from the dining room floor… the Editor”

“H, let’s stop waiting until 9:00 PM to announce that you have homework… the Editor”

“C, you were very well-behaved at the dentist’s office this week. Now get in the bathroom and floss like your life depended on it… the Editor”

“R, I realize you’re six and a princess and much more on top of current hairstyles than Mommy, but it would help if your hair met a brush every few days… I’m sorry you have such a tender head… the Editor”

“Bunny, dang! We’ve had the Nativity sets out since LAST YEAR. Are you ever going to get those boxes out of that rat trap you call a garage, so I can put them away?

“Wait, never mind, it’s September. Save this nag for January 2nd…. the Editor”

It feels great to get all of this out in the open, but I’m thinking it would be a lot of work.

It does help that I’m one of those lucky moms/wives who hears herself repeating the same statements day in and day out… maybe it would be more of a Sacrament meeting bulletin than a newsletter…

To save time, maybe I should just go around calling myself “The Editor” and call it good.

HOLY CRAP again

OK, we're still eating Mexican Chicken Soup, now as dip for tortilla chips. IT ROCKS.

Hey now, HEY NOW.

My Rosalind just scored a goal! GOOOOOOOOOOOOAL

Then she scored another one! It's a new era! Poor kid, she's usually the one tripping all over the field. Today she managed to trip one into the net!

LATER: I'm enjoying the rain, and reminded of the old 80s song, "Don't Dream It's Over" - "try to catch the deluge in a paper cup."

Went shopping with Roz. We found cute sparkly shoes.

I need these in my size

Bella: She looks like she's about to kill someone over that shoe.
"They're always after me twinkle toes!"

Twinkle toes

In my size!!!

Hmmmmm

New Fridge: Go Time

The recycled refrigerator that our landlord bought, and had fixed for us a year ago, is now dying. I found a deal on Craigslist for a fridge in the area and went with my friend Sariah to check it out. We ended up buying it, and it's been plugged in for about fifteen minutes and so far, so good! Hooray!

Basking in 80s Greatness

...and making my children watch music videos. I made Brennan watch "We Are the World" and "Sledgehammer".

These children escaped their mother's 80s madness by playing at the neighborhood park:

LATER: The Mexican Chicken Soup. It has fulfilled my every hope in life.

Chicken breasts - green enchilada sauce - black beans - sweet white corn, garnished with sour cream, cheese, olives, avocado and tortilla chips.... HOLY CRAP it's good.

Lounging in the grass

...with this one. She found Mom's glasses.

Wanna eat her face

She got mad when she saw this today. "I didn't want anyone else to see!"

Bad Influences

"The wise man can pick up a grain of sand and envision a whole universe. But the stupid man will just lie down on some seaweed and roll around until he's completely draped in it. Then he'll stand up and go, 'Hey, I'm Vine Man.'"

Jack Handey

Mark P: I'm pretty sure that makes me the stupid man.
Mel: I miss Jack Handey.
Jim P: My fave: Despair is like a cable that is buried just under the surface of the ground. You pull it up and pull it up, but that cable just keeps right on going, clear across a field, until you come to a bunch of guys who are burying the cable. Then just walk up to them and go, "Hey, have you seen Fred?" And they'll say, "Fred who?" And you say, "Fred of snakes?" Then cover your ears, because big laughs are coming.
Mel: “If God dwells inside us like some people say, I sure hope He likes enchiladas, because that's what He's getting”
Mel: "To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad."
Mel: One more: "If you're a horse, and someone gets on you, and falls off, and then gets right back on you, I think you should buck him off right away."
Me: "When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear."
Me: "Laurie got offended that I used the word "puke." But to me, that's what her dinner tasted like." 

Jim P: "If I had a nickname, I think I would want it to be "Prince of Weasels", because then I could go up and bite people and they would turn around and go, "What the-?" And then they would recognize me, and go, "Oh, it's you, the Prince of Weasels."
Me: "It makes me mad when I go to all the trouble of having Marta cook up about a hundred drumsticks, then the guy at Marineland says, "You can't throw that chicken to the dolphins. They eat fish." Sure they eat fish, if that's all you give them! Man, wise up.

Later: All the warnings in my youth about the evils of rock music have finally come true. Metallica just influenced me to run a red light.

Then Queen influenced me to park like this:

Can anybody find me somebody to park?

I walked out of the school and saw this car gingerly creeping around mine, trying to back out without hitting anything and I thought, dude, what's the deal? Then I saw how I parked.

Hubby: You did that? ha ha. I love it.
Me: I did! Do you LOVE me?
Hubby: More than ever now.

Beehive Advisor

I'm going to get along with those 12/13-year-old girls in my class juuuuuuuuust fine. Same maturity level! It has been really fun so far. Today was my first time teaching the Sunday lesson. Three girls were there today. I think we have five total.

Later: There will always be something good on TV as long as CMT keeps showing reruns of "The Dukes of Hazard." Yeeeeee-hawwwwww! Loretta Lynn was a KIDNAP VICTIM on the episode I watched today. She was so happy about being rescued, she sang "Y'all Come" for the folks. It doesn't get better than that!

Remembering "Let's roll."

Watching 9/11/01 news footage...at this point Matt Lauer is wondering if the first plane hitting the first tower of the World Trade Center was accidental or intentional, believing it was a small commuter plane, and lamenting the "damage" to the building. Still can't believe this ever happened. It's still amazing to me how quickly things changed.

Just watching this newscast go from "Uh oh, a plane went into one of the towers of the WTC" to the panic and the fear and the sadness...it was all of about an hour.

One of my dearest, oldest friends wrote a beautiful tribute to the Flight 93 Memorial in Shanksville, Pennsylvania. Makes me bawl every time I think of those poor people knowing what was happening to their plane, calling their loved ones one last time, and having the strength and courage to take the plane down before the terrorists could use it to hit anything else. Bless them all for their bravery and their love.

Shelly's note: "That Little People plane just hit me so hard. I had one of those planes. My kids had one. It says 'Thank you for saving our lives and for not hitting our school.' Actions that the passengers and crew took that day saved this school by seconds. Seconds."

Life has gone on.  I was at Roz's soccer game today and really wanted to backhand the vitriolic soccer mom standing next to me and screaming in my ear. One of my friends joked, "What would Jesus do?" The Lord was such an advocate for little children, I think He'd be a bit sad about some mother shouting at her 6-year-old daughter, "YOU'RE PLAYING LIKE A GIRL!!" I made a special point of telling her daughter how well she played after the game... I feel so superior now.

Sometimes we have to remind Roz to get her head in the game, but it was especially telling today that the other team's parents were all negative and horrible-sounding, and our cute happy little girls kicked their butts! YEAH!!!

Walloon

Word of the Day: Walloon. Use it in a sentence.

Rachel J: Before or after I google it?
Me: Before, of course
Rachel J: Dang it! Ok.....is this like balderdash? The walloon, indigenous to Costa Rica, has been known to migrate as far north as Nova Scotia.
Me: Perfect, yes, you've done it correctly.
Me: Before you scrape that gum off the floor, you'd better put on your walloon.
Stacey S: An ice cold pepsi cured my achy walloon last week.
Rachel J: No googling!!!
Me: My friend Walloon and her sister Roofine took me shopping yesterday. We bought - are you ready? - drawer knobs.
Heather M: The Walleye loved the Loon for a long time before he got the guts up to ask her out. They married, and that spring the first Walloon was born.
Me: That reminds me of "Fiddler on the Roof" - "A fish may love a bird, but where would they build a home together?"
Deirdre M: I have a graduate degree in Geography. I will abstain from this contest, because I know the Flemish will kill me if I participate.
Me: I love Google and Wikipedia. The word "Flemish" bothered me for I don't know how many years and I only had my World Book Encyclopedia from 1956 to assist me.
Dalene R: As I once lived in Namur, capitol of Wallonia, I am disqualifying myself from this fun little word game. Carry on!
Me: I love that there's a real place named "Wallonia". It sounds so storybook.
Deirdre M: Trivia question: Philippa of Hainault, consort of Edward Iii of England....
Walloon or Flemish. NO GOOGLING ALLOWED!
(actually, you can google, but the answer will still be murky)
Me: Holy poop! I think you and Dalene should be playing THAT game.
 Me: When I first saw the word this morning, I wondered if it was one of THOSE designations, like "quadroon" and "octoroon"...
Mel: The doctor finally found the brown walloon and removed it from his patient's body before he coded.
Mel: I love this game! More more more!

Then: Brennan asked Aunt Tawnee if she could make some tie dye T-shirts for him, in his school colors. She agreed and the shirts arrived today. She did a great job! Thanks Tawnee, you rock!

This is everyone's favorite

Later: Bella's soccer team won their game, 2-0. Yay!

When it rains, it pours.

I absolutely LOVE that Harrison had two girls show up unexpectedly to walk him to school this morning. Can we say "Hubby Jr"? He was still undressed from his shower! I had to rush him into his clothes because he had two chicks waiting in the living room for him. He took off walking with them... never saw such a huge smile. And he never looked back.

Carter has a new drug allergy as of today. He was prescribed a penicillin liquid for his eye thing, had to take it for ten days, and on day nine, he broke out in a weird, red rash on his neck, torso and back. It wasn't itchy, so he didn't notice it till he went to the bathroom.

So off to the doctor we went. It's an allergic reaction. The doctor told me the name of the disease and then said, "Now don't go home and Google it," so of course I went home and Googled it. It's potentially deadly. That'll teach me.

So Carter can't have any form of penicillin anymore... and possibly sulfanoids as well. I hate that I gave it to him for nine days. He was so good about it, too. But it did clear up his eye, so it wasn't all in vain.

First Day of School 2010

High schoolers!
Bella: 9th grade
Brennan: SENIOR YEAR!!

Elementary schoolers!
Roz: 1st grade (and yes she was upset)
Carter: 3rd grade

Middle schooler!
Harrison: 6th grade

The last time I was at home without kids this long was eighteen years ago, just before Brennan was born. Hmmm... can't say I hate it.

After school, the sweet relief that only the neighborhood park swings can bring:

He jumped out!!

Blue velvet shoe selfie

Then this other kid showed up.
Cute brothers 

Later: The first grader is tired and having an emotional breakdown. Her mother will not allow her to ride her bike down a busy street. MEAN. But she was so cute when I first picked her up. Her first words were "I missed you all day."

One more day...

...before school starts. We will spend quality time with the kids' wardrobes, take the kids to their various socials/orientations, and try not to stress about tomorrow. Oh, and take Bella to her soccer game.

Roz, with her knees tucked in under her shirt: "Mommy! I'm having a baby - tomorrow. I can't go to school."

Later she was looking for pants. I told her to put on shorts for now and she said, "But I want the pants with long sleeves!!"

This afternoon I dropped off Harrison at 6th grade orientation... surreal. Last week I was down the street giving birth to this kid. It's been a very quick 11 years. I'm having a hard enough time being at Carter and Rosalind's school without him. I feel like I'm missing an arm or something.

Love That Joker!

...only my undertaker knows for sure. 

Apparently the Red Cross is right and my blood *is* lacking iron! Ha haaaa!!

Not unrelated: I made the mistake of putting lipstick on Rosalind ONCE and now she needs it all the time. I secretly love it.

Bella is babysitting for our ward friend Mallory H tonight. I got this text from her: "The Hs have the cutest baby! She has tiny socks! They fit on my thumb!"

Donating blood today. Maybe.

Gee, I hope my Actifed habit doesn't stand in my way. (Hubby: "It's the meth you should be worried about!")

That silly Red Cross with its "you have to have enough iron in your blood before you can donate it" rule. The last time or two I've tried to donate blood, I've been rudely refused. Okay, just refused. Today was no exception - my iron is too low. (Awwww) But now I have a good excuse to tank up on hummus! Yay!!!

We're having a lovely pot roast for dinner tonight to celebrate my iron-poor blood.

In other news: HAIRCUTS for school!!

Guess what, it wasn't pinkeye!
Carter has cellulitis of the eyelid. Looks fun huh?
He's taking antibiotics and has been cleared to associate
with the public. Poor little eyelid.

Three boys under the scissors

Brennan :)

Harrison :) Cheese!

Carter :) 

STAT.

Today I have a boy with what looks like pinkeye, a girl with a nasty cold, a boy getting his middle school vaccinations, and two teenagers to keep happy. Cookies might have to make an appearance. Kaiser, as usual, is making me feel like the crappiest mother in existence. Thanks Kaiser!

Except look at these two little boys, who wanted a picture next to this sculpture. Just look at 'em. They make everything all better. 

Love the smiles and the Converse <3

This evening I served my first official duties in my new calling, Beehive Advisor, under Joni G. And it was really hard, too, hanging poolside with the young women. My life is pretty tough. 

In Lisa B's pool