If you're like me (I'm sorry) and you're an avid watcher of ER reruns on TNT, you've heard the fun little announcer guy between shows. His job is to keep us glued to the tube by announcing things like, "There's nothing but drama when...." followed by an exciting, but totally generic, tagline of the next show's plot - something like, "There's nothing but drama when Dr. Greene wakes up late for his shift. Next, on ER." Really, that could be said of almost any episode.
So I thought, wouldn't it be funny if he got really specific?
"There's nothing but drama when....
1) ...Dr. Kovac gets a disfiguring rat bite and must undergo difficult rhinoplasty. Next, on ER."
2) ...George Harrison comes back from the dead and haunts the ER, while his guitar gently weeps. Next, on ER."
3) ...Carter and Abby kill each other by having a lead-based paint ball fight, and Nurse Chuny becomes a man. Next, on ER."
4) ...the Munchkins from The Wizard Of Oz and the Nelwins (OK, Pecks) from Willow overrun the ER and pretend to be pituitary-gland-challenged children. Next, on ER."
5) ...Dr. Weaver is hit by the El and everyone throws a party. Next, on ER."
6) ...Benton discovers that not only was he admitted to medical school as a result of Affirmative Action, but that somewhere on his way to work, he stepped in a dog's 'accident' and is stinking up the operating room. Next, on ER."
7) ...Jerry and Frank, the fat desk clerks, decide they've had it up to here with uppity doctors and nurses, and traumatize patients when they streak naked through the halls yelling 'Yowza, yowza, yowza!' Next, on ER."
8) ...an absolutely asinine several-times-recycled plot is recycled yet again, including a love scene, gory heart surgery, smart remarks and a guy in the psych ward who threatens Elizabeth. Next, on ER."
9) ...rampant stupidity takes over, causing all the doctors' IQ to lower to 75 points, making them all eligible for that special school where they'll learn to re-tread tires. Next, on ER."
10) ...the entire ER moves to Africa, everyone is infected with the ebola virus, various cast members come out of the closet, their rat- and mosquito-infested shack blows up and Nurse Hathaway gives birth to twins. Next, on ER."
And... I'm spent. Feel free to join in.